Success is not built by avoiding discomfort, it is built by learning to embrace it and move forward while your heart is still racing!!
Here are 5 powerful tools to help you embrace discomfort, feel your emotions safely and turn that inner resistance into real, lasting success! 🙂
The 5 tools to embrace discomfort!
Tool 1. Name the discomfort precisely!
Not “I feel bad,” but “this is fear of being seen,” “this is fear of failing,” “this is shame.”
Precision dissolves drama and gives you power!
Tool 2. Stay in the emotion without negotiating your way out!
No scrolling, no snack, no sudden productivity! 🙂
Just you, your breath, and the truth that you can feel this and survive it.
Tool 3. Take the tiny brave action while the tension is still loud!
Ask the question you think is “stupid.”
Raise your hand before you feel ready.
Follow up instead of assuming they are not interested.
Share your real opinion even if it might not be liked, this is how you stop overthinking and stop caring what others think!
Apply before you feel qualified.
Let there be silence instead of filling it to feel safe.
Say “I don’t know” without apologizing.
Leave when something feels wrong instead of staying to be nice.
Confidence is built in the middle of the shake, not after! 🙂
Tool 4. Reframe the sensation as expansion!
That tight chest is not danger, it is growth!
Your nervous system is learning a new range! 🙂
Tool 5. Collect daily awkwardness reps!
One uneasy action per day.
No heroics, just consistency! 🙂
Success is not a leap, it is a tolerance for feeling more without running away.
The quote that changed everything to me…
I used to really feel unpleasant being in this awkwardness place, you know, when you’re doing something outside of your comfort zone.
I had so many negative emotions and I had negative emotions about having these negative emotions!
All of this to say that it was really not fun feeling this way.
And then, I discovered this quote and I realized that feeling vulnerable was really about accepting me being more human and not trying to make everything perfect or control everything and nothing.
The quote is:
Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain… To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but accept it.
– Kevyn Aucoin
So, feeling this unease is really about accepting our humanity, embracing it and not letting it stop us from whatever it is that we want to do!
What is discomfort and why do we feel this?
This unease can be fear, frustration or even doubts.
It’s happening when we do something extraordinary, something that is out of our comfort zone, something that we are not used to doing.
Since it’s something that we are not used to doing, we may have negative emotions
We have them because we’re afraid, we have frustration or doubts about what we’re doing.
So this tension is really just emotions which are vibrations in our body! It’s nothing more!
The reason why we feel this way is again because we are going out of our comfort zone.
Why should we all learn how to be uncomfortable?
This is an essential skill that we would all benefits learning!
The moment that we are more self-aware that what we are feeling are just vibrations in our body and nothing more, we won’t let it stop us or mean anything special!
Learning how to deal with negative emotions is soooo important.
We will then be comfortable feeling awkward, as Brooke Castillo says, we will kind of find comfort in incomfort! Which is something that is really comforting, right?
How do you enjoy being uncomfortable?
We agree that to reach your goals or to do something extraordinary, you will need to go out of your comfort zone.
The question is how to do this? You will feel uneasy so, instead of telling you not to feel negative emotions (this is impossible!), welcome the uncomfortability by learning how to feel comfortable in this vulnerability!
This is how you’re going to do it:
- You will do it again and again, take actions without letting your brain or your emotions take you out of it.
To get what you want, it’s important that you will take actions, even small ones, all the time especially when you start using your natural strengths and talents. At this moment, you will probably have thoughts about what you’re doing: fear, doubt or frustration maybe, don’t make it mean anything, it’s just your brain trying to keep you alive and save you from danger. This was important back then when we needed to survive from a tiger! Today, fear isn’t usually a threat like it used to be back then! So don’t let it be as useful as it truly was back then! - Keep on trying everything and nothing until it works.
Going out of your comfort zone is already amazing! Now, you need to keep in mind that it won’t always work the way you want it to. But again, do not let it stop you! Try everything that you can, do not give up or let being uneasy stop you! Let your dreams be bigger than your fears! - Lean into the negative emotions.
Remember that emotions are simply vibrations in our body. - Get into the habit of being more self-aware.
I always say that being self-aware is everything! It’s the first step towards every problem you’re facing. So, be more self-aware when you feel raw: remind yourself that you’re feeling this way because you’re getting out of your comfort zone, because you’re going for what you really want. And that it’s okay if you feel like “it sucks”, it’s just negative emotions, they are just vibrations in your body. Be self-aware of this and this will already be the first step to everything 🙂 - Focus on the aim.
It’s important to keep in mind: why are you trying this, why are you getting out of your comfort zone? What is the main reason behind it? It may motivate you in moments that you’re not too sure why or what you’re doing this and feeling this way!
Growth and comfort, growth and success!
Growth and comfort do not live in the same room…
Every challenge you stop avoiding becomes a doorway to personal growth.
Vulnerability is a sign that something inside you is expanding, even if your mind calls it danger! 🙂
This is real progress, the quiet kind that builds resilience from the inside.
Your mindset learns that emotional waves are not threats but training.
That is the shift, you stop chasing comfort and start trusting growth! 🙂
Embrace your humanity…
Here, I want to tell you again to open to this humanity of yours.
I used to feel very guilty for having negative emotions, I felt like “I need to be happy all the time!” when in fact, it’s not what’s going on in reality!
Also, when we accept all of our emotions since we are less resisting them, they are leaving us quicker!
Move toward any emotion, positive or negative, they are just vibrations in our body.
Discomfort and self-confidence, even when it’s awkward!
Of course, I will be talking about discomfort and self-confidence!
How discomfort is helping us in building our self-confidence?
First, being more self-aware of what’s going on inside of us is helping us build our self-confidence. Because we understand what’s going on and we feel more comfortable with our emotions and our reactions!
Then, feeling good with negative emotions, feeling that we can handle being out of our comfort zone will help us build our self-confidence.
Because we know that we can count on us when it comes to taking risks, we know that we will be okay no matter what’s happening to us! We have our own back! 🙂
I truly believe that after a while of trying new things, being out of our comfort zone, our self-confidence is getting bigger and bigger! You just need to try it out and see by yourself, you can trust me on this! 🙂
We can all succeed! 🙂
If you want more mindset shifts like this, explore these inspirational personal development articles!
To sum up!
I just want to say that discomfort is good, discomfort is really okay.
We need to learn to hold the negative feelings of fear, pain or doubt that goes with. Let’s get comfortable feeling restless and soon, it won’t stop you anymore!
You’ll be able to handle anything that comes your way and to become as successful as you want it to be because you have your own back, you are self-aware of what’s going on and you don’t let anything stop you!
You’re developing, the researcher here! Discomfort doesn’t have to be annoying, instead of avoiding it! 🙂
