6 Steps to deal with an emotion!
You can master emotions like a boss!
Check out my infographic and keep it handy!
How To Really Feel An Emotion?
The way to really feel emotions is to feel it like a vibration in your body and to describe it:
- Where is it?
- What’s its intensity?
- What color is it?
- What shape?
Just imagine describing the emotion to somebody else.
When you’re doing it this way, you can become more of an observer than the “victim” of it.
3 Ways To Deal With An Emotion
Actually, there are 3 distinct ways to deal with an emotion:
1. Reacting to the emotion
For example, when you feel anger and you would scream at someone or hit something/someone.
2. Avoiding the emotion
This is happening when you’re trying to change your mind and focus without giving it the time that the emotion requires.
You might do this by eating when you’re not hungry, by drinking alcohol, by scrolling without end on social media…
Anything that would turn your attention to the emotion. There’s nothing wrong with doing this AFTER having felt the emotion!
You just need to make sure that you first have felt it!
3. Embracing the emotion
As stated before, emotions are really the signs of what is going on inside of you, they are there to tell you if your needs are being met or not.
The best is to really welcome the emotion and to understand that it has a good intention, no matter if it’s positive or negative.
Emotional intelligence…
Emotional intelligence is your ability to notice what you feel and why you feel it, so you can respond instead of react! 🙂
It grows when you practice mindfulness, paying attention to your inner world without judgment.
You learn to catch a negative thought before it spirals and choose a kinder one instead…
You realize emotions are information, not a problem to get rid of!
You become someone who can manage emotions with clarity, compassion, and confidence! 🙂
Manage your emotions and emotion regulation!
Step #1: Welcome the emotion!
Remember that emotions help us to survive, thrive, and avoid danger.
So, keep in mind that there is always a positive intention behind any kind of emotion.
More than just accept it, welcome any kind of emotion with open arms!
Step #2: Become the observer!
This step starts by taking 5 deep breaths.
Get out of your body and look at yourself feeling the emotion from the outside.
It’s helping in being more objective and having a different perspective on the whole situation.
You’re not the victim of the emotion but the observer of it!
Step #3: Name the emotion!
Recognize what is it that you are feeling.
Have a look at this list of emotions, so you can point at what you’re feeling exactly with the right word.
We are more comfortable with what we know!
In the long run, you’ll also feel much better each time you’ll feel this emotion because you’ll know what it is and that it will just pass and nothing else!
Step #4: Befriend the emotion!
Treat it like a good friend.
Look at the emotion with compassion and curiosity.
Remind yourself that they are the sign that your needs are being met or not!
Step #5: Identify the need!
Behind every negative emotion, there is a need that isn’t being met.
Understand which one it is.
Of course, it isn’t something that is easy to do if we don’t know what are our needs and how to fulfill them…
Step #6: Create actionable steps!
It’s very important to always be action-oriented.
Think of clear steps that you can take to get this need to be met.
For example, you feel overwhelmed by everything that you have to do, the actionable steps could be:
1. Write down everything that needs to be done.
2. Organize the tasks by categories.
3. Put every result that you need to have in your calendar (for example, call the garage for the car).
Also, since we are in the actionable steps, it’s important to keep in mind that any emotions you’re feeling are because of a thought you’re having.
So, think of what thoughts you’re thinking and how they affect the emotions you’re having.
You can choose your thoughts like you choose your clothes!
You probably heard of the book of Adrian Rogers called mastering your emotions, you can definitely become more knowledgable with his book, my infographic is already a great start!
I’m sure that there should actually be way more books on controlling your emotions, but the fact that you’re are is already amazing!
I’m excited about this for you! 🙂
To sum up this manage emotions, regulate emotions!
Difficult emotions can feel like a storm, yet learning to regulate your emotions brings calm back into your day!!
Controlling emotions is not about shutting down what you feel, it is about understanding the message behind those intense emotions.
When emotional dysregulation shows up, it does not mean something is wrong with you, it means your nervous system needs support.
The control of your emotions grows each time you pause, breathe, and manage our emotions with care instead of panic.
People facing mental health conditions often struggle with intense emotions, so it is a powerful skill to build for anyone.
You deserve tools that help you feel safe and steady while navigating whatever you feel!
