Are you sometimes taking things personally?
And you know that you would feel relieved and peaceful if you would not, right?
Let me share with you one secret that changed everything to me…
Taking things personally
Are you looking for a permanent solution to stop taking things personally?
So that you can feel relaxed, peaceful and relieved?
Why are we even taking things personally?!
Let me show you what worked for me and how I manage to keep on not taking things too personally.
Why are we even taking things personally?!
We are all the same: sometimes, we may feel attacked by something that someone said. We think that it was against us, that it says something about us.
We may feel judged and it’s not a nice feeling at all!
Do you want to know why? The reason is that we all are trying to fulfill our needs. We all want to feel good 🙂
I wrote a post about all the needs that we have, you can check it out here 🙂
So at the end of the day, we are all trying to feel good, to fulfill all of our needs, no matter what we’re doing, we are always thinking about us in the first place.
So it makes total sense that we would take things personally!
We may think that anything people will say, if they are talking to us, we should take it personally. But we should NOT 🙂
Have we always been taking things personally?
I think that there is a difference between when we were kids and now being adults.
Of course, as a kid, we still were thinking about our needs and us (I don’t want to be alone during recess!) but as adults, we have a tendency to analyze and to overthink way more than what we used to in the past.
So, I don’t think that we used to take things personally as children. Maybe a bit, but I think that it’s part of growing up… Maybe we should think more like how we used to as kids 🙂
How to stop taking things personally
Ok, so this is my secret of not taking things personally.
Just one word: EMPATHY.
If you look on the Google, you’ll find this definition for empathy: “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another”.
You need to remember 3 things:
- Everyone is thinking about themselves in the first place.
- Everyone is trying to fulfill their own needs in the first place.
- Everyone is trying (even if it can sound absurd!) to get a positive result for themselves.
When you keep all of this in mind, you understand that actually, we are a bit funny taking things personally!! We should definitely not!!
If you reread the 3 sentences up here, you understand that since everyone is thinking about themselves in the first place and that he’s hoping for a positive result for himself, then for sure, we shouldn’t feel concerned!! 🙂
In conclusion, no matter what people are doing or saying, it says something about THEM, about what they want/need/hope/believe/wish/think/imagine.
For example, if someone is pointing at someone and saying that he’s thin/fat or making any comment about their physic, it’s because the person that is pointing wants/needs/hopes/believes/wishes/thinks/imagines something about weight for HIMSELF 🙂
Someone who has absolutely no problem with weight will never make a remark or criticize someone for something that he/she doesn’t care for HIMSELF/HERSELF 🙂
Does that make sense to you?
Self-Confidence can help you not taking things personally
Of course, when you believe in yourself and in everything you do, you won’t take things too much personally.
Why?
Because you feel very good with who you are and you don’t care or pay attention to what people may say 🙂
It’s not something that will change from today straight, it may take a bit of time, but slowly slowly, you will look at it differently and while growing your self-confidence, you will less care about what people are saying and less take things personally 🙂
Grow your self-esteem
Also, when you really love yourself, you won’t take things personally.
Why?
Because you don’t believe what people may say about you!
When we take things personally, it’s because we believe even if it’s just a tiny bit, that they may be right about what they are saying, that it may be about us. But why would we if we already know who we are?
For example, someone may say “I think that everyone is stupid”, but if you know that you’re not stupid, you won’t take it personally! This says a lot about the person that is saying it, not necessarily about you 🙂
Okay, my example wasn’t the best out there 😉 but you probably understood my point! 🙂
To sum up!
So… To stop taking things personally, try to say to yourself that no matter how they’re doing it, everyone is thinking about themselves before anything and anyone else 🙂
So, we definitely shouldn’t take things personally since what people are saying is concerning THEM and not US.
I really like this quote, we should remind it to ourselves from time to time! 🙂
