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Maybe you’ve felt offended today at some point…?
By something or someone?
Do not worry anymore!!
This may change everything for you if you let it!!
Why do we get offended?
I’m jumping right into the topic but why not!
I wonder what YOU would answer to this question.
Let’s think of a situation someone else said something to you, for example, “You could wear nicer clothes!”
You then feel offended. Why do you think? Take a minute to think about it.
You’re going to say that it’s what this person told you that offended you!
What if that’s not entirely true?
The problem with thinking that it’s that person’s comment that made you feel offended is that we have to make sure we control this person the best that we can so that you don’t have to feel offended anymore!!
We have to make sure that she’s not saying “mean” things to you so you won’t feel offended…
But I have AMAZING news for you today!!
It’s really not what this person told you that made you feel offended…
But it’s your THOUGHT about what they said, it’s what you make it mean!
What do you think about that?!
Who’s fault is it?!
So, I know that it may sound annoying to think that actually, the true reason why we feel offended isn’t because of someone else, it isn’t someone’s fault but… Our fault!
And here, I think that it’s essential not to think that it’s anyone’s fault, there’s no one to blame, there’s no need for that but it’s important to understand that ALWAYS, no matter what, we feel a certain emotion, we have a vibration in our body because of what we are THINKING, always.
I know that some of you will tell me “but sometimes, if someone is very violent (using words or tones), it’s almost stronger than us! We still are humans in the end!”
And I have to say that I really agree.
This is also the reason why sometimes I used to cry when someone said something or I felt that person was condescending…
But in most situations of our everyday life, WE are creating that emotion of “offended” by what we make it mean and… We don’t have to if we choose to look at it a different way! 🙂
So, what to do…
I have to say that I paid attention more recently to this.
I realized this when someone told to 2 friends sitting together “you both got fat”! (my friends are really nice, this wasn’t one of my friends!) and one of my friends couldn’t care less about that comment.
The other one got very offended and shared that with everyone!
So, as you can see, it all depends on what WE make it mean, what THOUGHT we have right after someone is making a comment.
The thing is… The truth is… If we feel offended, most of the time, it’s because we tend to agree a bit with that person’s comment or see some truth in what they told us, even if it’s not necessarily what we want…
Which again, isn’t a problem at all!
Here’s what to do:
Someone will make a comment/tell you something (people absolutely loooove sharing their opinion/advice!).
When they say something, listen and then STOP!
Step 1:
Realize that it’s THEIR opinion (and you don’t have to do anything with it if you don’t want to!).
When people say stuff, it always says something about them…
Step 2:
Try to be objective on the feedback and see if you can take something useful from that!
I have to say that people keep a bit on telling me that I could dress better (because I used to dress much better in the past, I used to pay much more attention to it in the past) and I realized that there was some truth in the comments that they were making… But then, I asked myself what I wanted to do about it? The answer was “nothing” :), I understood what they mean but I choose not to change anything. I was comfortable with my decision! And proud! 🙂
Step 3:
Look at it from a place of compassion and curiosity: I wonder why did they say this?
What would be the main reason? Maybe it’s just because they care a lot about having beautiful clothes. It’s not a problem for me! It’s okay!
Of course, it’s not easy to go through these steps each time someone say something! 😉
But if you pay attention to STOP before reacting or answering when someone make a comment, you will then get in the habit of looking at the 3 steps: realize they’re talking about them, wondering if there is something useful in their feedback and look at the reason why they may share that with you.
And as you can see, when you ask yourself those questions and think that stuff, you probably WON’T be offended! You’ll more be like a scientist trying to understand the human race! 😉
Your GOLDEN Ticket!
You now see how much our THOUGHTS create our reality.
No matter the situation, the emotions you’re having, the actions you’re going to take are DIRECTLY related to what you are thinking.
So, if you have a problem in your life, it’s actually a thought problem.
So… Discover how coaching can definitely change anything that you want to be different in your life.
Let me show you the POWER of coaching. Let’s have some fun too! It does not have to be too serious or too complicated to be life-changing!
Let me show you how to do that! 🙂
Grab your GOLDEN Ticket right now!
To sum up!
I remember hearing that person say “actually, you can never feel offended if you choose to” and I tend to agree!
Of course, I don’t always apply what I’m teaching! 😉
And I get offended sometimes but much much less than I used to!
So… Do not forget! It’s never what people are saying but what you think right after, what you make it mean!!
I also like the example of someone telling you “I hate your blue hair”… You probably won’t get offended at all (except if you DO have blue hair!) so… Again, it’s no one’s fault but you DO get to choose what you want to think about it! 🙂
Go through the steps and see how you’re always in control, 100%! 🙂
