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Here we are again!!
The celebrations of the end of the year…
That may come with a lot of parties, family meetings, and… More occasions to see if we do or don’t have boundaries that we LOVE!!
Let’s see what I’m talking about…
What kind of boundaries and why?!
Great question!!
This period is GREAT to test your boundaries.
What do I mean by that?
Someone is going to ask you to come to a party you don’t want to go to… Someone will tell you that their cake is amazing and you absolutely HAVE TO taste it!!
To both of these offers, you will want to say no but will feel bad about it…!
So, let’s first see what is a boundary and how to set it.
B like boundaries!
It’s VERY simple actually, I don’t know why we don’t learn those at school…
A boundary is simply something YOU are going to do in a specific situation, its intend is NOT to control other people.
For example, if someone screams at you, you’re going to leave the room.
If someone offers you something to eat and you don’t want it, no matter who’s that person, it doesn’t matter at all, YOU will politely decline.
A boundary is really being clear as to what YOU will do in a specific situation.
As I said (and the nuance is important here!), its aim isn’t to control someone else, it’s all about US and US only.
Why?! Because it’s much more efficient!
It’s about taking care of yourself and your needs, it’s also much more relieving: You don’t need to control anyone in the world for you to feel great!
Because having boundaries is protecting your sanity and without sounding so extreme, it’s just about YOU doing what you really want.
So… How does it work?
The way to do this is to think of last year and of how you would want to live this year differently.
Is there 1 or more situations you wish you could have done things differently?
If the answer to this question doesn’t involve anyone else, that’s great! We “just” have to work with you! 😉
If it involves other people, it’s YOUR CHANCE to shine!! It’s your chance to discover what boundaries you have to set for yourself, not for others.
Here are a few examples I heard from people and clients and what an example of boundary can look like:
- Being invited to a family party and knowing you don’t want to go.
Boundary: Thanking politely for the invitation and declining. You don’t have to justify yourself, but you do have to follow your guts on this and not blame anyone if you decide to go. It all depends on what YOU decide. You’re responsible for your decision which is amazing! 🙂 - Being offered to drink alcohol when you don’t want to.
Boundary: Thanking politely for offering and declining. Also here, you don’t have to justify, you just have to be clear that you don’t want and not overthink it.
When I’m sharing these examples, I can see how they sound more like situations you want to say “no” than real boundaries but they are examples of setting boundaries FOR YOURSELF, just because YOU want or don’t want something and it’s about what’s in your control (you and your life) and NOT trying to control others (what they say, what they eat…).
People having thoughts… People having emotions…
It wouldn’t be fun if people would just say “ah yesss no problem, my friend!”
People WILL probably have things to say, opinions to share and emotions to show.
LET THEM BE.
Consider this: What if it wouldn’t be a problem that this person would feel a negative/uncomfortable emotion? What would happen if they have a thought that they believe to be true?
Remember what is in your control: Your thoughts, your emotions, your actions.
Let people be responsible for their thoughts, their emotions and their actions.
In summary…
Imagine a world where people will feel free and good enough to say no when they want to.
If everyone would do this, we would consider hearing “no” totally normal, right?
Let’s create this world you and me! 🙂
It starts with us: Without being mean or aggressive, from a place of love, simply state your preferences, say “no” when you want to say “no” and be okay with what you want!
How fun and exciting does that sound?? 🙂
And if you feel like you’re really struggling with this and you feel like it’s too hard not to be offended or mad when someone shares a remark or a comment, TALK TO ME! 🙂
You don’t have to suffer alone from this emotional pain!!
You feel triggered, nothing has gone wrong! 🙂
Let me help you empower yourself!!
Let’s have control over your reactions and emotions.
You’ll see, you won’t have to change what someone says for you to feel better!
Make sure you click below and book your FUN & FREE consultation!!
Let’s have some fun!! 🙂
