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You may be satisfied with your current relationships.
You’re okay with how are things often but you know they could be better.
You know you could have much more connection with people, a genuine one!
And meaningful moments together, no matter the nature of the relationship.
Let’s have a look how that’s 100% possible for you!!
And also… I always start asking my amazing clients on a scale of 1 to 10, how much would they rate their relationships and why.
If they answer something like a 7 or 8, I like to tell them: What if the 7 and 8 you describe could be actually just a 3? And you could have not GOOD relationships but simply AMAZING ones?!
Curious to hear more??
Let’s dive right in!!
The reason why…
No matter if you’re someone that describes yourself as being an introvert or an extrovert, we DO need some time alone and we DO need some connection.
We may have amazing relationships and great moments but somehow, we tend to blame others, we get into fights and we are not entirely satisfied in our relationships, no matter the nature of them.
We try to change other people, we believe it’s normal, “everyone has to make some concessions in a relationship!” says the famous saying!
But here’s the thing: We can connect MUCH more with other people and as I presented it at first, if you think you’re satisfied let’s say, 7 out of 10 in your relationships, I want to offer that it’s possible that you’re at a 4!!
Let me show you how you can have AMAZING relationships, no less than that! 🙂
What’s in your control!
That’s the big message for today: Have control over what you CAN control.
Which is: What you are thinking (your thoughts), what you are feeling, your actions, your words, your efforts, your choices, the way you want to live your life.
What’s NOT in your control: Other people’s thoughts, other people’s feelings, other people’s actions, other people’s expectations…
And this is why, when it comes down to any relationship, you can only truly influence yourself!! It’s also much more efficient…
Often, we want other people to do something so we can FEEL a certain way (they can take the trash out so we feel like they care about us).
Or we want other people to say something so we can FEEL a certain way!! (They should say they miss us so we can feel loved!).
But actually, it’s not that easy because you can all think of a time someone DID follow your manual, did/said what you wanted, and you did not feel better!! Why is that?!
Because and you know that: It’s never what someone is doing/saying that makes us feel a certain way but it’s what we are THINKING about that, how we interpret it, what we make it mean.
In a few words…
I like this idea that asks:
“What percentage of shared responsibility do you have in making a relationship work?” (no matter the nature of the relationship).
50/50? That’s what I answered! 🙂
Darren Hardy explains this, he says, the right answer is 100% 🙂
If you always take 100% responsibility for everything you experience (what you think, feel, what you do, anything that happens in your life), YOU HOLD THE POWER!
Often, we finger-point, we are the victim, we blame others and the world and hope that THEY will change!
We are then POWERLESS because we need THEM to change for US TO FEEL better!
So this is the way to do it to connect deeper and to have meaningful relationships: Knowing that you are 100% responsible for it to work.
You don’t expect someone to do or say something, you’re fully committed to showing up the best that you can, the most responsible that you can, no matter how that looks like for you.
Let’s talk about what that looks like for you for each one of your relationships!
No matter the relationship!
No matter what relationship you would like to improve (with a family member, with a friend, your romantic one, at work…), these are the next questions for you (and YES, it does work for every relationship you can think of that you would like to be better!!):
- What do you think is the problem in the relationship?
- Can you see that this is an interpretation of the reality, not what is happening as a FACT but how YOU interpret it? (We are not blaming ourselves here but just raising awareness around this relationship and our thoughts about it.
- If you had a magic wand, what would you like that other person to do or say?
- Are you currently behaving this way yourself?
- What’s in YOUR control right here right now?
- Think of 1 way you could take full responsibility for this relationship to work, what would that look like?
- What’s coming up for you when we see how much YOU can improve this relationship and not the other one?
These are questions I would ask you if I would coach you! 🙂
It’s SO fascinating!!
What is truly amazing is also that we then get to ask ourselves empowering questions like those for other areas of our life! It’s VERY useful and definitely a SKILL that you’ll be able to use again and again to improve yourself and your life, if you want to! 😉
I truly believe that one person can improve a relationship, you only need one! 🙂
That’s a superpower, right? 😉
If you want to get some support on this, this is what coaching is all about!! 🙂
Book your FUN & FREE consultation below to ACCEPT yourself, then LOVE yourself, so you can have a FUN & UNCOMPLICATED life!! 🙂
Let’s do this!!
