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Welcome BACK to The Bond Builder Series!!
I hope you enjoyed the first 3 days and if you did not listen to them, make sure you do, there are crunchy details in them about how to bond with a family member, a friend and a stranger!!
Okay so let’s not wait any longer, let’s dive into creating a deep connection with a romantic partner…
LET’S DO IT!! 🙂
Tip #1!
How to bond with a romantic partner 101…
Tip #1 is:
- Go through the 36 Questions to Fall in Love and use them to make your love stronger!!
I know that it sounds like these questions were made to fall in love but I believe we don’t know the answers to these questions even for ourselves in the first place so let alone for anyone else!!
It will 100% create a genuine connection between the two of you!
Have a look at these questions, aren’t they AWESOME?!
Have fun answering them for yourself too!
1. Given the choice of any person in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you wish to be famous? In what way?
3. Before you make a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say? Why?
4. What is your definition of a “perfect day”?
5. When was the last time you sang to yourself? Or to someone else?
6. If you were able to live up to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or the body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which one would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you’ll die?
8. Name three things you and your partner have in common.
9. What in your life do you feel most grateful for?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. For the next four minutes, tell your partner your life story in as many details as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any quality or ability, what would it be?
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, your future or anything else, what would you wish to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve been dreaming of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What do you see as the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in friendships?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that a year from now you would suddenly die, would you change anything about the way you are living now? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five characteristics.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel that your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For example, “We are both in this room feeling … “
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your past.
30. When was the last time you cried in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
Tip #2!
For tip #2 today we have:
- Fight properly!!
What do I mean by that?
I think that sometimes the words “fight, conflict, disagreement” can be daunting because… We’d rather NOT fight and not be in disagreement but… If everyone is authentically themselves in a relationship, I believe that some disputes will take place, it’s just normal!
Because people have opinions, thoughts and it’s natural to share them and then, to discover that we do NOT agree on!!
What if this would be okay?
And a FANTASTIC question I have for you about this…
When we think of conflicts, we often have a “negative thought” about conflicts!
It’s kind of when we disagree with someone, there is a light that turns on in our brain that says “DANGER DANGER!”… My question for you today is:
What if “the hard, the conflict”, what if it could be the BEST PART of a relationship?
I knoooow, your brain is probably thinking that I’m exaggerating, I’m going a bit to extreme so you can grab this idea a bit more in the middle!
We’re conditioned to think that it’s the worst part of a relationship but… What if we would approach conflict and fights from a positive place?! I told you, I LOVE stretching our brains with these INCREDIBLE questions!! 🙂
So, just imagine approaching a situation of conflict with your romantic partner from this place instead?
Interesting, right?
Like I always say, to solve situations, problems, issues, it’s not about WHAT we are doing but WHO we are being.
If you show up to a “fight/conflict” believing “it can totally be a good and fun part of a relationship”, imagine how different you would show up? What kind of person you would be?
Instead of being these blaming-victims people that we are! 😉
So, approach fighting differently from now on. Consider that it’s a part of a healthy relationship and that it’s even THE BEST part?! Ok I’m teasing you! 😉
Along the same lines, I will always remember the idea of being very open-minded and listening to the other one in order to UNDERSTAND, not only to reply…! Amazing, right? 🙂
What could be THEIR thoughts? Why do you think they’re thinking this? It’s not easy to do, but it’s a practice you can totally MASTER!!
You also won’t take anything personally anymore, I promise you…!
Because you understand that everyone ALWAYS has a positive intention behind what they’re doing, even if it doesn’t seem like it…!
And last but not least about conflict, there is a little sentence that I LOVE thinking about and that says:
“Some years back my wife and I got into the habit of asking each other “do you want comfort or solutions” when the other was having a bad time. That one sentence can save us from argument 9/10 times.”
That being said, you can see that it’s generally accepted that arguments are BAD! 🙂
Tip #3 and #4!
Tip #3 is…
- Fill your own cup!!
Of course, it’s nice to SHARE (moments, conversations etc.) with our romantic partner.
But here, I want you to think of what you EXPECT your +1 to do for you?
It can be…
- To listen to you?
- To take care of you?
- To give you attention?
There’s no right or wrong answer!
Just be aware of what it is FOR YOU and… Make sure you do it for yourself in the first place! 🙂
- Do YOU listen to yourself?
- Do YOU take care of yourself?
- Do YOU give yourself attention?
No matter what that looks like for you!
I remember that I really wanted to get validation (not only from my partner…) and no amount of validation from anyone in your life will be able to be enough if you don’t give it to YOURSELF in the first place! 🙂
Tips #4 today is…
- Be a fun partner!!! +1!!! Husband!! Wife!! Boyfriend!! Girlfriend!! You-name-it!!
We often have a nice and polished idea of how our +1 should behave…
Are YOU behaving like this? Are you fun, easy to talk to, respectful, sexy, active, motivated, ambitious?!
Who do you want to be? What do you want your partner to say about yourself?
I mean, make sure you do it yourself first! 🙂
And also, don’t take it TOO seriously, take it easy, be a FUN partner, be a person who makes other people feel good around them!
I believe this is the secret to always being surrounded… Just be nice, pleasant and fun to be around, people will gravitate around you and you will all have a great time and… AWESOME relationships!! 🙂
In summary…
I LOVE this work so much, I can feel how all of this can be useful. I genuinely feel it in my BONES.
Make sure you listen or relisten to this episode to have a THRIVING romantic relationship!! 🙂
And if you’re single, be READY for your future partner, and let’s talk tomorrow on how you can connect deeply on a DATE! 🙂
And if you LIKE or LOVE what I shared today and want to talk about your situation only and get TAILORED answers because you believe your romantic relationship could be better than it is but you feel stuck and feel like you tried everything, make sure you click below and book your FUN & FREE consultation!!
Let’s have some fun!! 🙂
