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LAST BUT NOT LEAST: How to connect deeper… Drum roll… With yourself!!
Of course every episode was important…
The most important relationship in your life is 1000% the one that you have with yourself.
The best company you will ever enjoy is your own!! Why do I believe that?!
Because YOU are the answer to any question you ask yourself! Everything is inside of you!
All the validation, approval, love from others… Give it to YOURSELF in the first place and then other people are just a bonus!
I LOVE the saying “In reality, other people liking you is a bonus. You liking yourself is the real prize!”
Right?!
Let’s see how we can get there starting TODAY!!
Tip #1!
The first tip is going to be SO SIMPLE (not easy, let’s see!) and it’s very practical:
- Think of 6 things you like to do and DO THEM this week!
To connect with someone, most of the people might answer “do some fun activities together such as bowling, going to a restaurant, watching a movie!”
What if it would be that obvious to create a deep bond with ourselves, we would do the same?!
And the best news ever: You don’t even need to discuss too much the choices of the activities, it’s between you and you (fewer opinions needing to be combined…!)!
So, keep it very simple: What are 6 things you like to do that you could do alone and you are going to love it?
I’ll share my list but be careful, I have to tell you… The more you’re going to love spending time on your own, the more you’re going to want to do it again… You’ll like your own company the most and this is dangerous!! 😉
And keep in mind that it could be short activities and completely free… Or not, you choose! 🙂 But those are not criteria, what matters is that you ENJOY doing them and that you’re connecting to what you like to do more! 🙂
I make sure to “bond with myself” by:
- Reading a few pages of a book that interests me!
- Going on a walk just myself, listening to music or a podcast (1 headphone only be careful!)
- Going to sit in a cafe, taking it slow, ordering myself a nice drink, appreciating the service and reading my book!
- Watching coaching calls or anything related to coaching/personal development!
- Listening to music I love!
- Creating a vision board or anything that makes me dream about the future while loving the present!
Again, they don’t have to be super original, costly or long, the point is just to spend some time with yourself and appreciate this time more!
It’s not only about the activities you’re doing but it’s also about intentionally thinking of spending time with yourself.
Just the effort of thinking of doing it makes already a big difference!
It’s like when people decide to spend more time together. Just the idea itself already has a bonding effect, in my humble opinion!
So, what is your list of these 6 things? 🙂
Can you start with 1 right after this episode? 😉
Tip #2!
I remember hearing about this idea and I find it amazing.
- The Book of Your Life!
I remember reading this in the book of the weightloss coach Camille Grandidier.
She shares in her book that everybody has a story they are telling themselves… About themselves.
Imagine your life until today would be a book: What would be the name of it?
- “Why I cannot Lose Weight”
- “Why I’ll end Up Alone”
- “The Boy That Nobody Takes Seriously”
And what would be the chapters, the content of it?
We often describe ourselves by what happened to us and/or what we’ve done.
To give you an example, I had a really happy childhood even though my parents got divorced when I was 9.
And it’s funny because when I first did this “book idea”, that’s what I thought of writing! That I had a happy childhood and that my parents got divorced.
And… There is something that I want to share with you.
There are some things that happened in the past that we believe were BAD, we think that it should have been different.
Of course, we don’t do it on purpose, we genuinely believe we would have felt better if we had had better parents, if our boss would have been nicer to us, if, if if…
The idea here (and it is possible that it sounds a bit too far-fetched maybe!) but try it on just for the next 5 minutes:
What if we had the exact past that we were supposed to?
In other words, what could be the gifts, the opportunities in what “happened” to us? In what happened to our life?
It goes with the idea that “the past only exists in the thoughts that we have about it.”
What’s coming up for you when I say this?
And what I want to offer you now is to decide to write your book again but FOCUS this time on how what you went through was A GIFT, AN OPPORTUNITY.
And that today, you are who you are not despite what happened but THANKS to it!
I know it doesn’t sound sooo bad so let’s take the divorce of my parents as an example:
How was this a gift and an opportunity to me?
So… This is an incredible exercise I believe because as I said before, we often describe ourselves with what happened to us and that’s totally understandable.
What if we are much more than this? And what if it all happened the way it was supposed to?
There are no real downsides to thinking this way, right? 🙂
Try it! 🙂
Tip #3 and #4!
The tip #3 is:
- What do you want to be said at your funeral?
The title of the tip is quite self-explanatory so really think about it: What do you want people to say about you?
And how can you live like this starting right now?
Of course, since you asked for it, I’ll share with you how what I dream people would say about me:
- She helped so many people with her coaching!
- She was a bit crazy and this is what people liked about her! To be an example of loving her life, helping others and not making it too complicated or too serious!
- She had a lot of sense of humor, a bit too silly sometimes but that was something special about her!
- She changed my life blablabla tears!!
Okay, I think you got the point!
So… What do you want to be said at your funeral? Or on your gravestone? Is this how you say it?!
And how can you live like this starting today? As that version of yourself that you want to be remembered? 🙂
What if it would be easier than you think?
The tip #4 today is:
- Do NOT beat yourself up ever again.
Of course, your brain will think that you’re in danger (before talking to someone, making a presentation…) so it WILL be very proactive at offering thoughts to make you NOT trust yourself because it thinks you literally are going to DIE!
That being said, do not forget that it’s not because you have thoughts, that your brain is offering you thoughts that these thoughts are necessarily TRUE!
Quite the opposite!
So, from now on, if you have thoughts such as “Not sure you can do this” or “You’re never be consistent before so why bother…”
S T O P yourself and remind yourself: “Ahhh yessss here’s the part where my brain thinks it’s useful to beat myself up! Nice survival mechanism brain! I’m totally fine, I’m safe, thank you for trying though!”
Still, be friends with your brain! 🙂
But as you can see, it’s not because you 2 are friends that you are agreeing with everything they say! 😉
DO NOT BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOUR BRAIN IS TELLING YOU!
Make the conscious decision NOT to believe these “beating yourself up” thoughts, no matter the flavor, they are just thoughts and YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS! 🙂
What do you think about this last tip?!
In summary…
That’s it!!
We are ending this podcast series with this FANTASTIC relationship, the best, the one you have with yourself!
This is the beauty of this series, it’s always going to be accessible to you if you want to relisten to any of the episodes to improve any relationship in an instant!
Of course it’s important to appreciate our own company. It’s also important to cultivate genuine and deep connections with other people so… You are covered here! 🙂
And don’t forget that these podcast episodes are already enough to create really extraordinary relationships.
If you want that little extra support and guidance to solve any relationship problem you encounter, book a fun and free consultation.
Together, we’ll talk about the current relationships you have and the ones you want!!
You’ll tell me what you think the problem is and I’ll tell you what the problem really is! 😉
Worst case, you go away with a brand new perspective over the “problem”!
So… You’re in? 🙂
Make sure you click below and book your FUN & FREE consultation!!
Let’s have some fun!! 🙂
