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This episode marks the HALF of our BOND BUILDER SERIES!!
So let’s not wait much more time before diving into this topic!!
But I just want to start by saying that even if a stranger seems irrelevant or maybe not the first person you would prioritize your focus on, let me show you how something else may be true!!
Be open-minded and let me show you why I believe it does matter…
Why and the first tip!
I believe that we never know who we are going to meet.
For your professional or/and personal life, I really believe this to be true!
And the BEST about a stranger, it’s that it’s like starting with a pure blank slate!!
They don’t know anything about you!! Imagine!
They have absolutely NO idea about who you are, what you’ve done, what you didn’t do (and we are thinking so much about this, right? Having regrets or remorse!!).
I already started talking about tip #1 but let’s put a clean title on it:
- Decide WHO you want to be!
I think it’s important to choose intentionally WHO we want to be when we first meet someone!
If you could choose to show up as an AWESOME version of yourself, what would that look like?
A way to look at it is to ask yourself: What do you want people to think about you?
And it can be just a few things!
To give you a random example (very random I know!), I would say that I want to TRY to make people think that:
- I’m not too serious! I mean, that I don’t take things too seriously, they don’t have to be very formal because I don’t care too much about formalities, politeness! 🙂 I respect them if it’s something that is important to them but I really don’t care when it comes to impressing me…! 😉
- I am nice to be around! I am trying my best to make people around me feel comfortable!
- I am present! When I’m around someone (that I know and that I don’t), I like to give them my attention, I like to acknowledge their presence and to think that they are important and valuable, even if I don’t know them! It’s not too much to ask I think! 🙂
People think that they have to show up “as they are”, as the person that they think they are…
But your identity is actually thoughts that you believe to be true about yourself!
What if you could decide how you want to show up despite what your identity is “supposed to be”…?
So much freedom around this, right? 🙂
Tip #2 and #3!
Tip #2 is an important one too:
- Ask what they do when they don’t work!
Usually, people like to ask what people are doing as a job, a profession!
People are surprised when you ask them what they like to do in their free time!
A lot of people define themselves by their job which is totally fine of course but sometimes, you’ll get more info and more enthusiasm if you ask them about what they do when they have free time!
You’ll see, very often, their tone and body language will change, they will feel comfortable!
Of course, it goes with this idea of wanting to feel seen, heard, and understood! But also… It’s much more interesting no? Even if people have interesting jobs!!
This question is probably going to start an amazing conversation with this person!
Sounds exciting right? 🙂
Tip #3 for today is:
- Ask truly more interesting questions!!
I know… This tip sounds a bit like the previous one!
But I want here to empathize it, I want to encourage you to be SUPER curious and SUPER interested into this new person!
I genuinely believe that we NEVER know who we are meeting, who we are talking to… What I mean by that is that you want to create deep and real connections with people!
For your personal and for your professional life, you never know who you meet, why you meet them, so much is out of your control and it’s also the amazing magic part of life!
That being said, you DO have in control how you show up when you meet this people and the relationships, the real ones, you are creating while doing so!
This is why I mean it’s important to create genuine connections with people by asking interesting questions!
I’m going to give you a few examples and I guess you’ll understand why I say that these questions create THE REAL STUFF with people!!
So much time spent people-pleasing, not being interested in others but just in ourselves, not being in the present, these questions and their answers sound FUN!!
Really, try them!!
- What’s the most interesting place you’ve traveled to, and why did you enjoy it?
- If you could have dinner with any historical figure, who would it be and why?
- What’s a book or movie that has had a significant impact on your life?
- What’s a skill or hobby you’ve always wanted to learn but haven’t had the chance to yet?
- Can you share a memorable childhood story or experience that shaped who you are today?
- If you could choose any superpower, what would it be and how would you use it?
- What’s something unique or unusual about your hometown or the place you grew up?
- If you had to pick one meal to eat for the rest of your life, what would it be?
- What’s the most inspiring piece of advice you’ve ever received?
- Do you have any favorite quotes or mantras that motivate you?
Of course, if you straight jump into it and ask one of these questions, some people may be very surprised but… I really believe that you will more “mark the spirits” (is that French?!), people will definitely remember you!! 🙂
And you’ll have more fun than the usual very formal conversations we have…! 🙂
Tip #4!
And… here we go again!
Tip #4 is all about what we said in the previous episodes…
It’s about keeping in mind that at the end of the day, all that matters for people is to be seen, heard and understood.
Again, it doesn’t ask us too much to do!!
Make sure that you follow the first 3 tips but also, make sure that you genuinely listen to what this person is telling you!
Be interested! You can never go wrong with simply listening and being present!
Tell to yourself “This is a very fascinating anthropological experience! I’m very curious to get to know these people!”
You will only have fun, I can promise you and 100%, you’re going to deeply connect with these people even with people you met 5 minutes ago…!
In summary…
Go again through these 4 tips and make sure you keep them in mind each time you meet a new person.
I sometimes feel lazy too of meeting people and doing small talk, this is why I’ve decided to make it much more interesting than I used to!
People ARE indeed fascinating and I’m telling you, keep in mind that you NEVER know who you meet!
I’m not saying this from a place of being opportunist but just I believe that the Universe puts people together because of how they can have an impact/influence on each other!
Oh and by the way… I could definitely talk a whole episode about social anxiety because it is something we may feel when we’re meeting new people (and not!).
But I wanted to focus more on these 1 on 1 interactions but if social anxiety is something you struggle with, talk to me! 🙂
I can definitely help and would absolutely LOVE to give you coaching tailored to your needs!
Talking about specific situations in which you find yourself in and feel socially anxious is totally normal!
I’m going to show you how to shift what you are thinking because guess what, social anxiety is created in what you’re thinking!
So if we want to have this anxiety under control, we can do this by being more in control of our thoughts!
I can help you create meaningful relationships, case by case, for every situation you’ll find yourself in! 🙂
Make sure you click below and book your FUN & FREE consultation!!
Let’s have some fun!! 🙂
