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No matter if you’ve been in a relationship for 6 years for two weeks, you may find yourself feeling frustrated sometimes!
Let me show you how to deal with this!
It’s not a problem until we think that it’s a problem! 😉
Why we are frustrated…
Deep down, as I always say, we all think about ourselves.
Which is amazing news!
Let me explain a bit better…
Everyone wants their own needs to be fulfilled and when our needs aren’t being fulfilled we may feel some frustration!
And don’t forget! Frustration is an emotion and emotion comes from our thoughts!
So, we may think a thought such as “he doesn’t care about me” or “he didn’t even see that I cut my hair” or “he’s always on his phone!”
We are human beings so as you can see, it’s really normal to feel frustrated from time to time!
But here, something I want you to pay attention to is not to say that the reason why you’re feeling frustrated is because of your boyfriend or husband!
It’s never what someone else is doing but it’s our THOUGHTS about what they did/say.
You get all of your power back! 🙂
Allow the emotion of frustration!
Before trying to change it, the very first thing I want you to do is to allow the emotion of frustration.
Nothing is going wrong, you are not the first person who feels frustration on this planet today, it’s fine and of course, nothing has gone wrong with you!
So, before changing that emotion or trying to feel something else, first allow the feeling of frustration and remind yourself that it’s just your brain!
You are feeling this way just because you had a thought.
This may help you less dramatize the situation such as “he doesn’t love me anymore, it’s going to be over soon!”
And by allowing the emotion I mean, breathe into it. Take deep breaths and locate it in your body.
After 90 seconds most of the time, it’s going to pass! 🙂
What do you want to feel instead?
Now, I want you to ask yourself what emotion do you want to feel instead of frustration.
Maybe caring? Maybe loving? Maybe open-hearted? Maybe grateful?
Think about it and then think about what would you need to be think to feel truly this emotion that you actually choose to feel.
For example, if you want to feel loving maybe you may have the thought “I really feel good with that person” and then you’re going to feel loving instead of frustrated!
Interesting to try something else, right?
When you still feel frustrated…
Sometimes, we still find ourselves feeling frustrated and here I want you to consider a few things!
When we feel frustrated sometimes, it’s because we think that’s somebody did something against us!
For example, before we thought that “he’s always on the phone” and we may think actually that “he doesn’t want to spend time with me” or “I’m not important” or “I don’t count in his life”…
But what if he actually right here right now just wants to be on his phone and it has actually nothing to do with you?
This could be a huge change of perspective on the situation, no?
Before, I also gave the example of the thought “he didn’t even see that I cut my hair”.
These thoughts may create frustration but what if he just did not see that you cut your hair and it has nothing to do with the fact that he thought about it and it did not make a compliment!
He just did not see it!
This is really a way to pay attention next time to what your brain is offering you and to consider that the story you are telling yourself is just not true.
There’s nothing wrong with being on the phone until you think that there’s something wrong!
There’s nothing wrong with not noticing that somebody cut their hair until we think that it’s a problem!
I would see it even as a good thing! 😉
Because it means that I can spend money and he would not even see it since he did not see my haircut!
Everybody cares about themselves…
And here I really want you to think about the fact that in the end, everybody cares about themselves.
So, most of the time, we don’t do things on purpose to hurt others or to offend others!
Your boyfriend and husband did not wake up today having as a main plan to offend you! Or to make you feel frustrated!
Basically, we are just sad with feeling some kind of emotion (here frustration) and instead of looking inside for love and support, we are looking for the outside (our boyfriend, husband).
And remember that deep down, nobody think about you as much as you do!
Which again, it’s something that should free us, because then you understand that you are never the source of the problem!
Your next action…
Your next action for today is really to pay attention next time that you feel the emotion of frustration.
Nothing has gone wrong!
Allow that emotion of frustration and then, try to find the thought causing it.
It’s not really the person itself, what they did that make you feel frustrated but the thought that you have about it!
This is why I would and I am happy that my boyfriend doesn’t see that I cut my hair!
Like this, he doesn’t see that I spent the money because guess what… I paid cash!
To sum up!
So, catch your brain when it’s offering you that kind of thoughts and as I always say: don’t believe everything you think!
Most of the time, when we feel frustrated, it’s a misunderstood.
Nobody is trying on purpose to offend us!
And of course, the fact that you know how to deal with the feeling of frustration in your relationship will be very helpful to build your confidence because you know that no matter emotion that you’re feeling, for example here frustration, you have your own back so, always trust yourself! 🙂
