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You know you have emotions from time to time but you never paid attention too much…
Let me tell you what to do from now on, it will help in so many situations in your life!
Emotions come from the thoughts we have
We grew up believing that the world around us and people make us feel a certain way.
That people hurt our feelings and that the world is unfair so we feel injustice.
The problem with this way of looking at things is that it’s that we feel happy or sad… Depending on the world and others!! So, it leaves all of our power to something or someone outside of us!
It’s such a shame because if you already tried (and I guess you did…) changing the world and the people around us can be possible at some level but often, it’s not working too good, right?
So, here’s the truth about it: The way we feel, every emotion we have always comes from a thought that we have.
If you feel content, it’s because you just had a thought that made you feel content such as:
- “This is so much fun”
- “I’m having a good time!”
- “I like that person a lot!”
So, you can try it right away, think of an emotion you felt today (and if you cannot remember, you’re even more in the right place!), and try to think about what you may have thought before feeling this way.
The example that comes to my mind often is when I’m drinking my morning coffee and reading my book.
I absolutely love that moment! I feel totally fulfilled because I’m telling myself: “I love drinking my coffee and reading my book.”
And yes, it’s that simple!
This is amazing because as you can imagine, when we all discover and understand that the way we feel, every emotion we feel comes from what we are thinking, the thoughts we have, then WE have all the control!
The way we feel doesn’t depend on what other people are doing or what the world is doing!
We also create “negative” emotions from the thoughts we have
If every emotion is created by the thoughts we have, we are also generating “negative” or in other words “uncomfortable” emotions from our thoughts.
This was just to be specific that we create ANY KIND of emotion, positive and negative, from the thoughts that we have.
Even if someone is saying “I love you!” to you, THEY don’t make you feel loved.
You have a thought about this “I love you!” that makes you feel loved.
Facts VS thoughts!
I always love talking with my life coaching clients about the distinction between facts and thoughts.
In big lines, there are facts in the world such as:
- The weather outside
- The temperature
- What time you came home yesterday
- Your age
- The currency in the country you’re in right now.
All of these as you can see, could be accepted in a court of law by everybody!
The facts are on one side.
On the other side, you have our THOUGHTS.
These are what we MAKE the facts mean, what we THINK about the facts.
Facts are our reality, we can all agree on this reality!
But then, the THOUGHTS that we have about those facts are not really the reality!
Let’s take the example of age.
If you’re 32 for example, being 32 is a fact. What we think about it is a THOUGHT.
My dad would probably think “32 is young!”
The kid that I talked to the other day would probably think “that’s the age of my grandmother!” (Thank you kid!).
As you can see, facts are facts and then we all have different THOUGHTS about those facts.
Emotions are real but… They are not your reality!
When you have a thought (and we all have approximately 60’000 thoughts a day!), thinking this thought creates an emotion.
Stay with me here because it’s getting a little bit more tricky here!
The fact is reality! It’s what’s happening and we would all agree on it.
Now, the THOUGHT we are having about the fact isn’t reality, it’s what we are THINKING about that reality.
And that thought creates an emotion, this emotion isn’t reality either, it’s an interpretation of the reality, it’s coming from the thought we have!
Why it’s useful: the example of a conflict
What is amazing about this is to realize right here right now that every emotion we feel, is REAL!
I mean, if you feel sad, you can probably describe this sadness in your body, you may feel a heaviness in your chest, you’re not inventing it!
But the beautiful and amazing thing about this is that it’s reassuring to see that it’s REAL, it feels soooo REAL, but it’s not our reality.
So, it’s not because we feel hurt that we actually, were hurt!
Let’s see the example of a conversation because this will make it a bit easier to understand.
If for example, someone is telling you “I completely forgot to call you, I did not have time, I’m really busy!”.
Just imagine a second: What would you think at that moment?
Let’s choose one possible thought: “This person doesn’t care so much about me otherwise they would have called…”
How could that thought make you feel? Maybe disappointed.
And you are truly going to feel disappointed! You will be able to feel it in your body!!
But it does not mean AT ALL, that this was the intention of the other person not calling you.
Do you see the difference?
We FEEL emotions, 100% we have emotions (that are coming from our thoughts!) but they are not a mirror of our reality!
You can think about it because for example, if someone would tell me “This person doesn’t care so much about me otherwise they would have called…”, I would think: “That’s totally fine!” and feel completely calm about it.
So… What do you think about that? 🙂
Your GOLDEN Ticket!
If all of this sounds interesting but quite overwhelming and you don’t really know where to start, I can help you!
I always like to share practical information but I want to keep it simple, always.
So, if you want to see how this could work for you and how you can genuinely FEEL BETTER, become more aware of what you are thinking and its effect on your life (a brain surgeon cannot have surgery on her own brain!), let me help you, let us have fun together!!
It’s going to change your life because you’ll be able to use it in every area of your life!! Self-coaching is an amazing skill!!
Get your 45′ coaching session for FREE and see how coaching can truly make you feel better, and more relaxed!
We’re also going to talk about how we can have fun together improving your life for good!
What do you have to lose to try something new? 🙂
Grab your GOLDEN Ticket right now!
To sum up!
Right now you can already ask yourself: What are you feeling right now?
Maybe calm? What are you thinking that makes you feel calm? Maybe “that’s interesting what Tamara is sharing!” 😉
Maybe someone is listening to these same words but this person is getting a bit annoyed by my accent! So they might think “I really like her podcast but I’m not sure about this accent!”
This person feels the emotion of “annoyed”.
As you can see… Our emotions are totally REAL! But they don’t represent our reality!
I find being aware of this very useful during conflicts too.
We may feel hurt, mad, or misunderstood but again, what we are feeling is totally REAL but it’s not necessarily what is happening!
It gives us back all of our power.
We never feel hurt, mad or misunderstood because of someone or the world, they don’t need to change for us to feel better! WE choose what to think.
So… Are you choosing your thoughts every day like you’re choosing your clothes?
It’s in YOUR power! 🙂 Let’s do this together!! 🙂
