Who are you and where are you going?
What’s important to you? What makes you happy?
Here are the 10 steps you need to take in order to know your true self!
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Be 100% your most authentic self
It can be amazing to discover the real you, am I right?
So you can stop trying to be someone that you’re not and embrace who you truly are!
But to do so, you definitely need to get to know yourself better and your journey goes through these 10 steps…
I heard people saying that getting to know yourself and taking care of yourself can sound very selfish.
But I really don’t think so! Even the opposite 🙂
You can bring so much to people, to the world, and it’s a shame not to do so! So get to know yourself better starting today 🙂
What does it mean to be your true self?
Ask yourself this question in the first place 🙂 what does it mean to you, to be your true self?
We may have different answers…
To me, it’s really about asking yourself questions that will make you think and discover what’s inside of you.
We all are very unique and it’s a shame that we first, never learn what’s really inside of us and second, we never embraced it the way we should have!
What do you need help with?
(Choose between the 2 options)
What are the benefits of being your true self?
When you’re being your true self, you don’t feel the need to have anybody’s approval! You can just be yourself and feel great about it!
There are no more games to play, you’re just being 100% yourself (with everything that comes with: your qualities and your flaws for example…) and you’re not losing any more time!
It also feels SO GOOD, because people who love you and love spending time with you are loving the REAL YOU, isn’t it that wonderful?? It’s a very comfortable and peaceful feeling! To be loved for who you really are? Right?
Your true self and emotions
Also, I’m passionate about the topic of emotions. Everything we do, we are seeking to feel positive emotions, I’m 100% convinced of this.
And so, we want to feel positive emotions but we may also feel negative emotions sometimes.. And people may feel negative emotions but they don’t know why!
They need to know in what situations they are happy so they can create more of these situations and…. Create more happiness for themselves 🙂
Being your true self = way to happiness
Also, people don’t know what decisions to take, what to do with their life, and if you don’t know yourself, then you don’t know how and what makes you truly happy!
So discovering the real you is step number 1 towards becoming happy!
Because you will know what creates positive emotion for you!! How can you make the sun comes through the window if you’re not sure how to open it? (Funny comparison… I know!)
And there’s nothing more fulfilling than feeling happy because of being who you truly are!
What is the true self in psychology?
Carl Gustav Jung was a Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who founded analytical psychology.
And he’s talking a lot about what he called the Individuation process. What is it?
Jungian analyst Anthony Stevens writes:
Individuation is the process, simple or complex as the case may be, by which every living organism becomes what it was destined to become from the beginning.
The purpose of this individuation process is to increase the individual’s consciousness.
So as you can see, it’s the process to discover what you have and what you are really on the inside. Through the process, you’re discovering the YOU that is unconscious and you’re bringing it out into consciousness.
And it’s really logic actually: in other words, you first need to be aware of what’s on the inside (so, to know yourself and to discover yourself), to then bring it out and be your true self all the time.
How can I know my self and be myself all the time?
This is a very fascinating journey that I hope, you’ll enjoy doing!!
Because life is right here right now. It’s silly not to embrace who you really are! You’ll just LOVE the feeling and the empowerment of discovering and knowing yourself in the first place and then being 100% your most authentic self every day of your life!
You’ll feel ALIVE live you’ve never felt before!
I looked it up and found many interesting ways to get to know yourself and that it will allow you to be yourself all the time.
I got especially inspired by 2 of them:
- SUCCESS magazine has a great article called 6 Steps to Discover Your True Self.
- mbgmindfuldness has also a great article called 6 Questions to Help You Find Your True Self.
Check them out for another perspective and other great ideas 🙂
The following ones are the ones that make the most sense to me… It’s a mix between my experience and ideas from what I’ve seen and read.
Let’s get this party started!!
The ultimate 10 steps to get you there!
1. Discover your core values.
Of course, this is step number 1!
I’ve created a FREE PDF that you can download here to discover what your values are.
As I like to say, core values are answering the question: What do you stand for and, even more, what will you not stand for?
You need to clarify this, to understand what’s REALLY important to you, what you would fight for? Talking about your values will make you feel something! They are essential to you and are making you feel alive because you are “aliving your value” (you’re alive and you’re living your values!! Yes, my invention!)
Also, here I just want to add quick something about life purpose. I’ve read many things about life purpose, what it is, how to look for it and I think that can be very interesting to ask yourself, what is your “life purpose”?
I wanted to talk about core values here because I truly think that at least for me, my life purpose is doing things that make me happy.
It’s not necessarily about a mission or anything special, but it’s to live 100% connected to your deep values and to do things and situations in which you are happy, in which you are super excited!
2. What do I enjoy doing when no one is watching? What activity makes me feel better?
Think about this for a minute.
You can use the notes application on your phone or just write on a paper your answers so you can keep track of your self-discovery journey.
3. What are your beliefs (limiting or helping)
I already wrote a few posts about beliefs, but just in 2 words, they are a perception of the reality, “our reality” in fact. They are built from the experiences we are living.
It’s important to discover what your reality looks like for you and if these beliefs are helping you in reaching your goals or if they may limit you!
Definitely, check the 2 posts right here so you can discover them today!
4. What are your best accomplishments in life?
When you look back at all what you did and all what happened in your life. What are the things that you’ve done and that you’re really proud of?
I really like thinking about this! You can ask yourself also, why were you that successful? Did you do something special? What skills and talents did you use to get there?
While thinking about this, you can also discover your skills and talents! I wrote a whole post about this, check it out here!
5. Understand where you are now…
This one is also very important. To know yourself better, think about where you are standing now in your life.
You can do it by drawing your timeline and look at your life from the outside, to “unzoom” the situation, as I like to say. It will give you a better view!
What happened in your past that brought you where you are today?
I want to say something about this too, it’s not what happened in your past that explains where you are now, but how you decided that it affected you.
You’re not broken, you’re not a victim of your past, you can choose what how do you want to react to it and how it’s influencing where you are now.
And then, like Natalie Bacon is saying it, you can create your future from your future and not from your past.
By deciding in what direction you want to go to, what life you’re dreaming of!
I like when she’s saying that this is a huge effort because we are so used to repeat our past. Our brain is very smart, it makes us repeat our past because it kept us alive until now! But you don’t need at all to repeat what you’ve done in your past. By looking at what you want to achieve instead and by taking the actions to take you there, you’ll design your future from your future and not from your past.
6. Looking towards your future, if there was no such thing as fear and failure, what would my life look like? If there were no limits, ever, you can do whatever you want… what would it be?
Think about it! Fears and the fear of failure is definitely something that is making us freeze! And I loved learning this during my coaching training, that “the brain has no time”!
Which means that you can think about a moment, something you want to do and it will create the thoughts, the emotions and all the sensations that go with it!
Your brain doesn’t know what day are we, what time it is, you just need to close your eyes, imagine something, a moment that you want to be in and you’ll feel all the sensations that go with this moment!
So, think about it… if there were no limits ever and you could do whatever you want to do… What would it be?! It’s so inspiring, right? 🙂
7. If I had $50 million, what would I do?
I remember that when I first started coaching people, I heard many goals saying that “I want to earn a lot of money”.
And I remember asking more questions because money is not a goal per se. Money can bring you something more, what is it that you will have, the moment you have that amount of money? Is it freedom? Is it more time to spend with your family? For travel? Always try to ask yourself more questions for every answer you’re giving to yourself. Why is it important to me? What will I get, how will I feel, the moment that I’ll get there/have that amount of money?
I heard someone says that “be careful what you ask for, you just might get it”. And I know that if you work very hard you may get it, but this sentence still sounds a bit easy, I wish that just by asking a million dollars I may have it tomorrow morning ringing at my door 😉
Anyway, try and ask yourself the question: what would you do with 50 million dollars?
8. Who do you admire? Who inspires you and why?
I love that question!
I was surprised but it took me a bit of time to answer it.
Ask yourself this question and then, try to understand what qualities do you think that person has that makes you admire her?
Also, I remember asking this to someone I coached and that answered me “I don’t admire anyone that is famous”. But, it doesn’t need to be a celebrity, it can be your mother, a person that you know, another one that you met once, a teacher… Someone that you look up to and you think “This person is amazing!” So ask yourself, why is she amazing?
9. Look at yourself from the outside: if you would be your best friend, what would you tell him/her?
I always say that it’s important to “unzoom” the situation, so you can look at it in a more objective way.
Sometimes, we are so deep inside everything that we went through or things that we wish for that we may not look at us in an objective way.
Also, we LOVE helping others and giving advice, but it doesn’t seem that easy to give advice to ourselves! 😉 so try to look at yourself from the outside and treat you like you were your best friend. What would you tell this other person?
I want to add that sometimes that it’s really hard to improve ourselves. Actually, using the word “improve” can make us think that we could do better, that we can be better.
Instead, you can use Natalie Bacon’s technique of looking at Yourself 2.0. Of course, it’s still YOU, but it’s kind of a new version, just because it’s easier to look at something new than to something that needed to “get better”. Does this make sense to you? 🙂
As you can see, looking at yourself from the outside will give you more of an observation look, you will probably less be hard on yourself, fewer judgments, more compassionate towards yourself 🙂 try it out!
10. In a completely neutral way, without judgments, just look at yourself from the outside
Take 1-2 minutes sometimes to just close your eyes and look at yourself and get to know you: look at your thoughts without judgments, at the sensations of your body, at the emotions and their consequences through your body…
It may look a bit like step 9 but for this one, you don’t need to add any comments. It’s more looking at yourself to feel comfortable being who you are.
You don’t need to answer any questions. You just need to be there, connected to who you are. Without the noise and all the questions you are supposed to find answers to, this last step is for you to find quiet and compassion towards yourself.
To sum up!
I know that all of these steps could sound a bit overwhelming, but the most important is for you to start being more aware of what’s going on the inside.
Sit and take the time to answers these questions.
You will know your true self, you will love your true self and slowly slowly, over time, you’ll design a life that will make you proud and happy to be 100% the REAL YOU! 🙂