Do you want to hear more of my accent?! Discover all episodes here!! 🙂
You’re not going to find this kind of practical information anywhere else!
What to do when you think that he’s always on the phone?
Let’s dive right in!
Of course, it’s annoying!
I really get it!
I was also blaming him for being on the phone… When I realized that I don’t want him to have that power over me! 😉
I then took that power back and this is what I’m going to show you right now!
What to do when “he’s always on his phone”…
Not sure you’re going to love it…!
1. Ask yourself: Is he really ALWAYS on the phone?
Our brain is very smart! He will want to find proof for everything you are thinking.
For example, if you’re thinking that “this day isn’t a good one”, you’re going to find tons of evidence that this day isn’t a good one!
So, if you think that he’s always on the phone, you’re going to see him ALWAYS on the phone?
So, we like to stretch the brain!
Is there maybe 2 minutes per day he’s not on the phone? 😉 then, you cannot say that he’s ALWAYS on the phone! 🙂
Try to catch your brain when he’s very efficient, of course, it has good intentions! It wants to save you time but question what you are thinking!
And always remember that… It’s not because you think something that it’s necessarily TRUE!
Do not believe everything you are thinking! 🙂
2. Drop your manual, drop your instructions and other expectations…
Something that I absolutely love from The Life Coach School is the idea that we all have manuals.
Manuals that look like a book of instructions on how to behave as a “good boyfriend” or “good husband”.
For example, it can say: A great husband offers you flowers on the first day of every month.
Or, a great husband is on his phone 3 hours per day, not more, not less.
As you can see, it’s not the rules that we all agree on!! Those manuals are pure inventions!
We all have manuals for how OTHERS should behave (my friends should call me on my birthday), how WE should behave (I should always say hello and goodbye), how the world should be (there shouldn’t be wars, there shouldn’t be people that aren’t reliable).
The very first thing to do is by becoming aware of the manuals that we have for other people.
Nothing has gone wrong! We all have manuals!
Take the time to think what manuals you have for your mother… For your boyfriend… For yourself!?
Then, ask yourself: Imagine if you wouldn’t have a manual, how different would your life be?
Just think of an example! Let’s take the one of “being on the phone”.
I know that it sounds annoying, but who would you be, what would you do if you wouldn’t think that “he shouldn’t be on the phone?”
It looks like thinking that and making him try to change isn’t working…?
What if you would try something else and set yourself free?
What do you need help with?
(Choose between the 2 options)
3. Let go of that idea! He absolutely should be on the phone!
I have a feeling that this isn’t what you will want to hear…
But stay with me.
We saw that he’s not ALWAYS on the phone.
Then, we saw that you THINK that he shouldn’t be on his phone. So what should he be doing according to your instructions? To your rules?
What a “good husband” should be doing?
Just be aware of the rules you have, they are unconscious, you are not guilty here! 🙂
Do not use that to beat yourself up!
And end by asking yourself: Who would you be, what would you be doing if you did not have that thought? Just imagine it for a second.
Then, as I always say, when we’re pointing at others, we might be pointing at ourselves!
Use that energy to ask yourself: Are you YOURSELF always on the phone?
What is really in your control here? How can YOU be less on the phone? And take care of yourself first instead of trying to take care of him?
Of course, if you just want attention from your partner, simply ask him to spend quality time with you without the phone.
But do not ask him to comply with YOUR RULES 24/7.
Deep down, you love him for who he truly is, not for who you want him to be!
Take the time to think about all of this! 🙂
The Genius Discovery GOLDEN Ticket!
If all of this sounds interesting but quite overwhelming and you don’t really know where to start, I can help you!
I always like to share practical information but I want to keep it simple, always.
So, if you want to see how this could work for you and how we can improve your relationship, let me show you how to communicate better and feel better in your relationship using the power of coaching!
Get your 45′ coaching session for FREE and see how coaching can improve any relationships that you would like to improve!
What do you have to lose to try something new? 🙂
Of course, it helps with your confidence!
My clients come to me and say that they are struggling with a lack of agency or control over their life.
Our reality, what we are seeing, comes from the thoughts that we have.
We aren’t always conscious of this but we do have 60’000 thoughts per day!
When you question what you are thinking and if you want to continue thinking this, you get that power back over your life.
This is how you build confidence. You are totally in control and you feel at home inside of yourself.
You’re aware of your reactions, thoughts, feelings, and actions.
The relationship that you have with yourself is the most important relationship you have so start there! Be confident, trust that you always have your own back!
If you feel like this is a struggle, let me help you! 🙂
To sum up!
As you can see, when we criticize others, it says a lot about our behavior too!
What is really in your control? What is it that you can really do here?
Go through the 3 steps and be gentle with yourself if all of this is very new.
Being here right now is already amazing! You’ve got this! You’ve got me! 🙂