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Some days, you feel super confident and some other days, you don’t AT ALL?
Don’t worry about it!
It’s a good thing!
Let me show you how and why it is!
What is “inconsistent confidence”?
Maybe yesterday, you said something, shared an opinion or just talked about something you knew and somebody said to you: “Wow! You’re right about that! And you really know stuff!”
Silly example maybe but at that moment, you were proud of yourself.
You felt like you could trust yourself and you felt simply good and comfortable “in your own skin”.
You felt confident.
This is compared to this morning when you can’t stop thinking about that conversation with a colleague.
You’re wondering if you said the right thing and you cannot stop thinking if they are judging you and if you can do something about it or not!
Now, you’re doubting yourself and feel a bit more insecure…
This is what I’m talking about when I’m saying “inconsistent confidence”.
As you can see, some days you are feeling more confident, and some days, you’re questioning what you’ve said and what you’ve done.
Nothing has gone wrong!
Nothing has gone wrong!
It’s just part of the human experience.
Some days, we feel like we can conquer the world, and some days, we would rather not even go out of our apartment because we are afraid of not doing things right or we don’t want to be rejected.
Keep in mind that the feeling of confidence growing and then going down like a roller coaster is a feeling shared by everyone, including very successful people!
It’s just like this and again, nothing has gone wrong! 🙂
As I always say, it’s okay to feel bad, it’s totally legitimate.
We don’t have to add another layer of suffering by “feeling bad about feeling bad!”
This is first!
What do you need help with?
(Choose between the 2 options)
Self-confidence = a skill to develop
As I always say, confidence is a skill to develop.
Like any other skills (playing the piano, public speaking, playing golf…), there are days that we won’t feel on top of our game.
Everybody, we will feel like we could have played better, and that it’s surprising because we should know better, we know how to do it!
It’s exactly like having self-confidence.
Some days, you’re going to feel like you can trust yourself and your abilities.
And some days, you wish you wouldn’t have gone out of bed and that it would have saved you to say those things to that person.
And again, that’s totally okay!
Nothing has gone wrong with you, and you don’t have to question all of your life because of that day!
Just be aware of it: Today, you didn’t feel super confident and that’s totally fine.
Don’t look for an excuse or an amazing explanation, just be conscious that it’s the way you’re feeling.
The good thing about it!
Actually, it’s really a good thing.
I truly believe that one awesome way to build our confidence is to develop the ability to feel any kind of emotion.
Feeling frustrated, feeling sad, feeling content, feeling impatient, all of those emotions are totally valid and it’s definitely a skill itself to simply ALLOW every emotion we may feel.
So, why is this “fluctuant confidence” a good thing?!
Because you’re learning how to deal with inconsistency and this is an AMAZING skill to develop.
Everything we do (as I said before) will be filled with ups and downs.
But if you learn to be present with those emotions of “ups and downs” in every situation of your life, you’ll keep on going and will trust yourself no matter what.
If we go back to the example of feeling confident some days and some other days not too much, you’re going to feel quiet and relaxed EVEN when you don’t feel confident 100% of the time.
The days that you’ll question what you’ve said or what you’ve done, you’re going to remind yourself: “Oh that’s right! Some days, I’m going to feel confident, some days not and that’s fine”.
This is why being very aware of what you’re thinking and becoming really the observer is essential!
To sum up!
Today, I really want you to pay more attention to the days you’re going to feel more confident and some days that you will feel less confident.
Simply, become aware that it’s totally okay that you’re feeling this way, and that nothing has gone wrong with you.
Also, on the way, you’re learning and going away from all-or-nothing thinking: You don’t have to master the skill of self-confidence to live the life you want.
You can be very successful in every area of your life even with days that you don’t feel on top of your game!
Simply, get out of your body, look at yourself and what you’re thinking from the outside and be compassionate.
You’re doing the best you can!