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Last week, I heard my mentor Jamie Berman talking about it in one of her Instagram stories.
I then put into practice what she shared and it was amazing!
So let me share with you more about this “now what” and how it will help your confidence tremendously!!
What You Will Learn...
The idea behind “now what” is to ask yourself “now what” when you’re in a situation that you did not actually wish to be in!
For example, Jamie talked about the fact of having a flat tire.
Of course, she did not wish for that to happen!
But instead of complaining about it for hours (you know I say that complaining 10′ about it is really okay and to process any emotion for example in that case, I would probably feel annoyed!), she asked herself, now what?
What is in her control in this situation?
No matter how you interpret the idea of “now what”.
It’s a very powerful question, it helps you get all of your power back over any situation!
It opens your eyes to what is in your control and what is not! Then, you can choose to let go of what is not in your control…
In what situations for example?
The situations that I thought of straight were the common ones in our day-to-day life such as:
- Being late to an appointment because the buses are late
- Having a fight or a conflict with someone
- Not acing that presentation like we thought we would
- Not feeling too good on Monday morning because we partied/ate a lot during the weekend and we feel exhausted in our bodies…
No matter what the situation is, very often we get even madder, we are beating ourselves up and we are living a nightmare because of our THOUGHTS even though the event has passed…!
We are living in this because of what we are THINKING, not because of the event itself…!
But this is amazing news! Because it helps us TAKE OUR POWER BACK over the situation!
As I always say, it’s NEVER the situation that is annoying or what happened but WHAT WE MAKE IT MEAN, how we interpret it, how we continue to talk about it and feel mad about!!
Now what = how do you want to respond
The question “now what?” goes with the idea of asking yourself:
This happened, now what, HOW DO I WANT TO RESPOND?
So, if we take the situations I shared before, let’s see what happens when we use the questions “Now what” and “how do I want to respond?”:
- Being late to an appointment because the buses are late… Now what? How do I want to respond? I let the person I’m meeting know that I’m going to be late and I apologize. I think of how I want to do it differently in the future (leave earlier?).
- Having a fight or a conflict with someone… Now what? How do I want to respond? I can listen to understand and not only listen to reply or try to defend myself, to convince the other one… I can learn for next time: What made me so mad? What was I thinking? How do I want to handle this situation next time?
- Not acing that presentation like we thought we would... Now what? How do I want to respond? It is done now, I can’t go back in time. I can think of how I can do it next time, and what I think could have been done better?
- Not feeling too good on Monday morning because we partied/ate a lot during the weekend and we feel exhausted in our bodies… Now what? How do I want to respond? I start by telling myself that I had a great weekend! I made those choices because I loved my reasons and now is a new day, a new week! How am I feeling? What can I do differently next time, coming from a place of love and not a punishment to feel better on Monday morning? Or if I choose to feel like this again, how can I be at peace with it and love my reasons?
Borrow them from me!!
(Choose between the 2 options)
It’s not complicated at all. It’s very simple!
When you find yourself in a “tricky” situation, a situation you feel like you did not ask for it, ask yourself:
“Ok, now what? How do I want to respond?” and take your power back over any situation that seems out of hand!!
And that spinning in thinking how things should have gone differently isn’t helpful at all!
If it was, I would tell you, go for it! But it’s not!
And then, of course, since this is a podcast about confidence, think of how you can use this situation and the way you react to it as an opportunity to love yourself more and not beat yourself up.
Often, we are blaming ourselves, trying to change the past in our head, it’s not very constructive as to how we can make an actual difference in the future!
So… let’s try something different from now on.
No matter the situation you’re in, really ask yourself: Now what? How do I want to respond? How is this an opportunity to strength the relationship I have with myself?
If we could go back in time, I would offer you this option! 🙂
But it looks like it’s not an option and that thinking and overthinking about the situation is causing us so much pain!!
So, let’s try something else instead…!
Your GOLDEN Ticket!
You now see how much our THOUGHTS create our reality.
No matter the situation, the emotions you’re having, the actions you’re going to take are DIRECTLY related to what you are thinking.
So, if you have a problem in your life, it’s actually a thought problem.
So… Discover how coaching can definitely change anything that you want to be different in your life.
Let me show you the POWER of coaching. Let’s have some fun too! It does not have to be too serious or too complicated to be life-changing!
Let me show you how to do that! 🙂