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There is something fun to do that will help you raise awareness, set yourself free and boost your confidence.
Sounds like a nice plan?
Let me get you through it!
The number of thoughts you think per day!
I like to talk about the number of thoughts a human being has every single day: around 60’000.
No wonder why we may be exhausted by the end of the day, right?
And as I always say, most of them are unconscious, we don’t even pay attention.
The problem is that we’re taking action from what we think so, let’s say that it could be interesting to question our thoughts if we don’t like how our life looks!
For example, you want to improve a relationship that you currently have with a colleague.
But… Have you ever wondered what are you thinking? And what is causing you to maybe have that relationship?
Stay with me with that example, I’ll come back to it in a bit! 🙂
Write down your thoughts!
Brooke Castillo from The Life Coach School recommends doing a thought download every day.
You write down all of your thoughts and then, it’s creating a distance between what’s going on in your head and yourself, so you can see things more clearly and make a change if you want to.
I recommend something inspired by her idea but a bit different and where you have more power right away.
Take a paper and write down thoughts you’re having without judgment, simply write a few thoughts down.
Then, take one thought and look at it.
Question it with questions such as:
- Is it true?
- Is it really true?
- Would we all agree on this?
- Why am I choosing to think that?
- Is it possible that I’m maybe having all-or-nothing thinking here?
- Is this thought serving me?
- Who would I be without that thought?
Of course, when you spend a bit of time on that thought, don’t try to change it or to get rid of it right away!
Don’t add judgment.
Look at it from a place of compassion and curiosity.
What do you need help with?
(Choose between the 2 options)
The example of your colleague!
These were the thoughts of an amazing client of mine about one of her colleagues:
“She should be reliable, I should be able to count on her. She’s not being professional and then I have to deal with many problems. I wish she would be different.”
Let’s take the very first thought so we don’t get overwhelmed:
“She should be reliable.”
Let’s use the questions from before:
- Is it true? Not sure if this is 100% her personality. (I like to write next to the thought: Really?? Then, I almost find the thought funny!)
- Is it really true? Not sure if this is completely true…
- Would we all agree on this? Not sure everybody would agree on this statement. Some people may find her reliable maybe!
- Why am I choosing to think that? Because in that moment, this is how I feel like!
- Is it possible that I’m maybe having an all or nothing thinking here? It’s true that she’s not ALWAYS unreliable… She did some tasks back then and she actually was reliable.
- Is this thought serving me? Not too much because I cannot change her…
- Who would I be without that thought? I wouldn’t have expectations, I would let her be whoever she wants to be.
You don’t have to go through all of these questions! 🙂
The most important ones are the ones from Byron Katie’s work:
Is this true?
Who would I be without that thought?
You can really write what you think next to this thought such as “really?” and then, the thought will almost look funny! 🙂
Questioning your thoughts = more self-confidence!
When it comes to self-confidence, what makes the difference (the level of confidence you have) depends on the thoughts you have!
So, when you catch yourself having thoughts of beating yourself up or not having your own back, you can question that thought exactly how I taught you here.
You don’t have to do anything!
Sometimes, just by questioning if this thought is true can set yourself free! 🙂
Often, we lack self-confidence or self-esteem because of what we’re telling ourselves.
By questioning what we are telling ourselves, we can set ourselves free from something that we might think and that isn’t necessarily true and/or serving us!
To sum up!
As you can see, you don’t have to question the 60’000 thoughts you have every single day.
Simply take one of them and ask yourself the questions.
And remind yourself that it’s not because you’re thinking something that this thought is necessarily true!
Also, it’s sometimes not even about the veracity or not of that thought but also, is it serving you to think that or you would be better off without it…?
Interesting, right? 🙂