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It’s so hard to start doing something because we are afraid that it won’t be perfect!
Or that it won’t be good enough, right?
Let’s discover how you can overcome perfectionism and how it can help you build your confidence!
Why are we striving for perfection?
No matter what we are trying to do, we want things that we do to be perfect!
For example, if we make a presentation, we want it to be perfect.
If we cook a meal, we would love it to be perfect too!
Why is that? Because we make it mean something!
About ourselves, about our life… It gives us validation that we are doing something right, that we are GOOD, enough.
Ask yourself: Why do you want this thing you’re doing to be perfect? What MORE are you going to get, what are you going to FEEL once that’s perfect? 🙂
The real question is actually: What will you LET yourself feel once that’s perfect? 🙂
The problem with striving for perfection…
I remember hearing coaching clients saying “If I can’t do it perfectly, I’m not sure I want to do it.”
So, this is the main problem!
We are so afraid of not doing something perfectly, that we choose not to do it at all.
But when you think about it, better be done than perfect, right? 🙂
It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be!
Going to talk to someone, doing a workout, sometimes we say to ourselves “why bother? Anyway, it won’t be as I imagine it to be, it won’t be enough or perfect!”
The idea of B- work!
I really like the idea of Brooke Castillo creating B- work.
This means that the next action you’re taking, no matter the area of your life, you just have to take that action and do B- work.
This idea is genius because when you really think about it, b- work is better than no work at all, right?
And when you really think about it, you can ALWAYS improve something!
But it’s very hard to improve something that isn’t out, right? 🙂
The example of going for a walk daily!
I like taking the example of a workout.
A few years ago, I really wanted to feel healthier.
So, I’ve started by going for a walk every day for 20 minutes.
I knew that perfect would mean for me, going for 20′ but also being productive with my time (listening to a podcast, etc.), and walking fast!
This sounds simple to do but still, I was really reaching for the “perfect walk”!
And actually, I’ve decided to go for B- walk which meant to me going out for 20′ and not trying to be productive or doing anything special, just already going out there for 20′!
And it’s really true that I felt already amazing doing it even if it means that it wouldn’t be perfect, but I was happy keeping my word to myself and taking action towards something that I really wanted to do (which means, feeling healthier by going on walks!).
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Taking action is creating momentum!
What is amazing is that, when you take the next action to do something, even if it’s not perfect yet, you’re creating momentum!
Then, you will want to do something else!
With the example of going out for walks, the moment that I’ve been a few times for 20′, it wasn’t as hard as in the beginning, I was on the move!
I felt great about doing it even if it wasn’t as perfect as it was supposed to be in my head!
Striving for progress, not perfection!
You probably heard that quote already!
And it’s true!
It’s related to the fact of creating B- work and that if you want in the long run, you can absolutely improve it, change it, whatever you feel like!
And here I want to point at something that will be very interesting for you.
We always want to do (and to be!!) good enough, perfect… But how can we measure it?
When can we say that what we are doing is perfect, is enough?
Who sets the criteria?
And this is the best news ever: YOU set the level of perfection and enoughness! 🙂
Which is: putting whatever you want to do/be out there in B- work and improve it (and yourself!) if needed in the long run!
Amazing question right?
Think of something you want to be done perfectly.
How will you know that it’s been done perfectly? Are you sure that it will be enough?
What if you would choose right now that putting it out there is already good enough and perfect? 🙂
Overcoming perfectionism = building your self-confidence!
Of course, when you take action and even if it’s B- action, you’re building your confidence.
Because you are showing to yourself that you can take action, that YOU are choosing what good enough looks like!
If you take the example of a presentation at work, think of the main goal of that presentation.
Then, you can realize that YOU are choosing how good enough looks like, what you’ll do to make that presentation good enough! 🙂
Also, asking yourself questions of “what does good enough look like” or “when will I know that I’m perfect?” can be very empowering.
You then realize that there isn’t such a thing as enough and perfect, this will help in boosting your self-confidence and self-esteem! 🙂
To sum up!
As you can see, there’s no real way to reach for enoughness or perfection, because it exists only in our mind! 🙂
So, always think of the most important thing you’re trying to achieve when you’re taking action.
When going on a walk, you want to think of the fact that you’re moving/taking fresh air, depending on what is your end goal.
When you make a presentation, think of the main idea you want people to get from that presentation.
This will already be good enough! 🙂
You will see how you can then trust yourself and have your own back!
You may also be interested in…
- 9 Self Limiting Beliefs That Are Keeping You Stuck (& What to Do About It!)
- 10 Burning Questions About Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem
- Building Self-Confidence: Discover The 12 Pillars
- Self-Esteem & Self-Confidence, What’s the Difference?