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Why aren’t you wherever you want to be in your life?
Maybe because you have some self-limiting beliefs.
No problem! Let’s uncover them and then, let them go!
Let’s dive right on!
What is a self-limiting belief?
A self-limiting belief is simply a thought that you thought so many times that it became unconscious.
The brain is super efficient so it’s like learning how to drive a car.
At first, you’ll pay attention to everything you’re doing and then, your super-smart brain will put on automatic everything that needs/can be automated, it’s amazing, right?
The brain is such an amazing tool!
So, again, when it comes to self-limiting beliefs, don’t blame yourself for having them!
Nothing has gone wrong!
Now is the time that you can uncover them and actually question their necessity in your life! 🙂
Let’s see which ones you might be having…
9 self-limiting beliefs
Why the number 9?
These are the 9 self limiting beliefs that I see the most often or that I heard in life coaching sessions with amazing customers.
Do you ever find yourself thinking one of them?
1. I should feel good all the time, I have everything to be happy!
This thought is coming from such a nice place, it makes you want to feel better all the time because feeling better is amazing right?
But actually, it happens that we feel bad and sometimes, it’s what you want!
When a friend is sad, you want to feel their sadness and their pain!
When something happens in the world and that frustrates you, you want to feel that feeling!
Nothing has gone wrong when we feel negative emotions, as long as we are willing to truly feel them and not reject them or reacting to them, simply feeling their vibration in our body.
So, sometimes, even if you didn’t really choose to feel bad, let’s be okay that we’re feeling bad.
You’re going to feel amazing 50% of the time and 50% of the time, things will suck! Or, they seem like they suck! 😉
And if we would stop feeling bad about feeling bad, we won’t add more negative emotions!
So, next time you’re feeling bad, just sit and feel that vibration in your body. Nothing has gone wrong!
And you do not need to be happy all the time! 🙂
2. I should have a purpose in my life.
Everybody told me that “you need to leave a mark on this world” and I think that this could be so much pressure!
If it’s something that you want to find for yourself, to motivate you, or for any other reason, that’s fine!
But don’t put more pressure on your shoulders.
Sometimes, people link having a purpose in life with being worthy.
But you don’t have to do anything to prove that you’re worthy!
For example, my only purpose is to be my authentic self and have fun!
And just thinking of that, I’m feeling very content and quiet.
I always thought that I needed a big project or a motivating goal. This is very personal!
Ask yourself what could be your purpose? But don’t get stuck in what other people will think of that!
The only approval you ever need is your own! 🙂
3. I should be doing something.
People always qualify the fact of being “busy” as “successful”!
Because you have so many things planned, it looks like you’re living a successful life.
But in the eyes of whom?
Again, you don’t have to prove anything to anyone, and not doing anything is totally fine!
I think actually that if we spend a few minutes or hours not doing anything and it becomes a problem, something’s wrong!
The world is full of attractions and anything that is always trying to catch our attention.
Being able to disconnect and to be just comfortable sitting with ourselves not doing anything is absolutely fabulous!
So, no, you don’t have to always be doing something.
Who said that and why should we? What do YOU think about it?
What do you need help with?
(Choose between the 2 options)
4. I’m just not good enough.
We tend to see other people’s success and we feel like they are better than us, they never feel bad, they have everything to be happy!
We cannot stop seeing how much we lack that success or that confidence.
The reality is that we have absolutely no idea what is someone’s story, struggles, or life!
So, when you may think that you aren’t good enough, compared to whom? And how are you so sure about them?
Also, what do you think can make you “good enough”? What are you missing?
When you have the answer to that question… Ask yourself: Is that true?
We know if something is true or not if everyone could agree on that.
As you can probably imagine, it’s not always the case, we don’t agree on what is enough or not!
It’s simply a thought that isn’t serving you, maybe you are exactly how you’re supposed to be! 🙂
You can improve yourself and your life though, but when will you know you’ll be “enough”?
5. If I would be perfect then I’ll be really loved.
This is one of my favorites because I used to think that thought so much!
It’s a bit related to the “not good enough” belief.
What would make you be perfect?
At what moment in your life would you say that you’re finally perfect?
I was really stuck with this belief so much so I really get you!
But can you believe that you are unique and special EXACTLY the way that you’re supposed to be?
Coming from a place of compassion and acceptance can help a lot!
Also, when it comes to your family, friends, spouse… You love them just as they are right? Do you like their authentic selves?
Also, it’s like a dish of nice pasta! It doesn’t need to be perfect to be amazing and tasty right?
Another example, think of a nice vacation. You had a great time!
Probably not everything was perfect, but you still had an awesome time and now an incredible memory, right?
Maybe if we would more turn to acceptance than judgment, it would make our lives easier! 🙂
What do you have to lose to try? 🙂
You absolutely don’t have to be perfect to be loved!
You want people to love you EXACTLY how you are!
For the imperfect you that is PERFECTLY enough for this lifetime! 🙂
6. I need to do things that I don’t want to do to be loved.
There is a very downloaded episode on that topic: The #1 problem with being a people pleaser (and what to do about it!)
Actually, you cannot make someone think or do something about you.
Everybody is responsible for the way they are feeling and for what they think, as much as it sounds crazy, we have no influence on this! 🙂
So, instead of trying to manipulate their feelings by doing things that you don’t want to do, say “yes” only when you really feel like it.
The funny thing and it probably already happened to you is that you did something that you didn’t want to do and still, it was just not good enough!
People had something to say about that other thing! They were resentful about something that you did not even think of!
If you choose to do things that you don’t want to do, do that but always love your reasons.
Know that you’re doing it FOR YOU and don’t try to manipulate other people’s feelings and thoughts about you! 🙂
This is soooo hard to do because it’s simply impossible.
Also, this has an amazing “plus”, when you don’t do things that you don’t want to do, you stop being resentful or having expectations for other people to do things that they don’t want to do.
You just let people do and be whatever they want, just like you’re giving yourself this permission! 🙂
Try it, you’re going to looove it!
7. I’ve always been like this, that’s just the way I am!
I love this idea so much, we are hearing it so often.
Actually, we have tendencies!
I’m a person that is more on time because I don’t like to be stressed so I have a tendency to be on time and won’t ever be suuuper late.
But actually, we don’t have a fixed personality!
We can improve anything that we want, I can choose to arrive in advance for example!
So, nothing is set in stone which is amazing news!
For example, I used to think that I was a bit of a lazy person, but this thought wasn’t serving me, it was keeping me in a box with the title on it “this is what a lazy person does” and then, I was behaving like “a lazy person” when actually, no one kept me in that box except me!
So, you don’t have to put yourself in a box of “what you’ve always done and who you are”.
Nothing is set in stone! You can do and change whatever you want starting right now! 🙂
8. If others succeeded, that’s because they had a secret/special talent.
We have no idea what others have been through, so we cannot talk for them or for their life.
Most of the time and from experience, I believe that people get the results that they want in their life because they took action until they get it.
They didn’t stop when it was hard or when they encountered “fails” but they were really committed and determined to take action until they got the result that they wanted.
So, no special talent needed. Just the skill of dealing with negative emotions and being committed which as you can see, are skills that nobody ever was born with! 🙂
9. One day, if I have this or I get to that, I’ll feel better.
We always think that getting to someplace or getting something in our life will make us feel some kind of emotions and so, we are waiting to get there.
The thing is, there will always be challenges and problems to face!
So, nothing is going to be better! 🙂
Also, you can create any emotion that you want from your thoughts.
Both of these announcements are great news because it shows that you don’t have to rely on external circumstances or events to make you feel a certain way!
How do you change self-limiting beliefs?
Actually, you don’t have to change anything right away.
Just consider that question when you say to yourself the 9 self-limiting beliefs that I shared:
Is that true? Is that really true?
Or is it maybe a story in your head?
There’s nothing wrong with realizing that, it’s all okay 🙂
Simply questioning and noticing that you might be believing that thoughts can set you free! 🙂
These thoughts will then let you of YOU, not the other way around! 🙂
How do you stop self-limiting beliefs?
Already being aware that you might have self-limiting beliefs can be very helpful! 🙂
When you think that you may have a self-limiting belief, ask yourself: Is that true? Is it serving me?
How can I make sure that it’s true? Would everyone agree on that to be true?
You don’t have to stop them, just to turn towards them with compassion and curiosity! 🙂
To sum up!
As you can see, it can be very helpful to discover what self-limiting beliefs you may have.
When you realize it, don’t beat yourself up! Nothing has gone wrong! 🙂
Just turn towards them with compassion and curiosity.
Then, ask yourself if it’s true? And if it’s always the case?
Could everyone agree on that?
Decide if keeping that thought is serving you or not!
Do you think that about your friends, your family or anybody that you love?
Always treat yourself just like you would treat somebody that you love! 🙂
You may also be interested in…
- Are Your Beliefs Building Your Self-Confidence?
- 32 Self Improvement Tips To Bring You Success In Life
- Are Your Beliefs Helping Or Limiting You? (Examples Of Beliefs)
- 10 Burning Questions About Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem