I am passionate about this topic!!
Let’s make you SUPER CONFIDENT!
The 6 pillars for confidence and self-esteem!
Let’s start with an image because, why not?!
1. Befriend self-doubt!
It may feel counterproductive at first, but everyone experiences self-doubt, even confident people!!
This doubt comes from a primitive part of the brain that wants to keep you safe. Instead of fighting it or trying to get rid of it, stop making it a problem.
Let it be there and keep moving forward anyway, like placing it in the backseat while you stay in control of the direction!!
2. You have thoughts, you are not your thoughts!
Just because a thought shows up does not mean it is true!
When the mind says something is wrong, pause and question it rather than accepting it as a fact.$
Thoughts are mental events, not definitions of who you are, and learning to separate yourself from them changes everything! 🙂
3. Decide to feel confident!
Feeling good enough is a decision, not a destination you reach someday!
Make a clear choice to stop talking badly about yourself, even silently.
At some point, you can decide that you will no longer automatically believe every critical thought that appears, and that decision alone helps build confidence!!
4. Confidence comes from what you are thinking!
Confidence is an emotion created by a thought!
Think of a moment when you felt capable or calm, what were you telling yourself then?
Often it is something simple like “I can handle this” or “I will figure it out,” and those thoughts naturally boost your confidence!! 🙂
5. Have confidence heroes!
Choose two or three people you admire for how they show up in the world.
When you feel stuck, imagine how they would think or act in your situation.
This is not about copying them, but about borrowing perspective and reminding yourself of what is possible for your own sense of esteem and self!
6. Learn from comparison instead of judging yourself!!
When comparison shows up, get curious rather than critical.
Ask what that person is modeling for you and how they are showing what is possible.
Used this way, comparison becomes information rather than proof of low self-esteem, and it supports growth instead of shrinking you!
Why organize it this way?
Since self confidence is a skill that ANYONE can develop if they want to, I’ve decided to create a structure for it.
You may feel overwhelmed when it comes to building your self-confidence.
You don’t really know where to start, what article to read, what courses to take…!
So I’ve thought and organized the 12 pillars that if you focus on each one of them, you can build a long-lasting self-confidence, I’m 100% convinced of it.
Let’s dive into each one of them, so you can understand better what I mean by that… It’s all about self-confidence and self-esteem! True confidence!
If you’re curious about the difference between Self-Confidence vs. Self-Esteem, check out this article, it’s amazing!
A Personal Perspective: They seem similar but are radically different.
The 5 keys to self-acceptance… to build confidence!
I wanted to dig a bit more into that pillar that is essential to building your confidence.
This can change your life if you’re willing to let it!
1. Start by being aware.
The very first thing to do is to observe without judgment, out of curiosity where you are right now.
Stick to the facts!
Ask yourself:
- How are you?
- How old are you?
- Who are you surrounded by?
- How does your day-to-day life look like?
- How do your weekends look like?
- How are you feeling on a daily basis?
Again, there’s no judgment such as “this is bad, this is good”, we are simply observing where we are standing today!
2. Forgive yourself.
Sometimes, we may describe ourselves as the person we were in the past, what we said or did.
Also, we may have regrets.
So, look at that past version of yourself with compassion and curiosity.
She did her really best and there are no upsides of thinking of what could have been said or done!
Look at that person as if she was your friend, very often we are judging ourselves so much harder than we would judge others!
3. Acceptance doesn’t equal resignation.
Sometimes, people think that when you accept something, it means that you just give up on something, it may have a negative connotation.
Actually, it’s more about letting go of things that happened in the past and focusing on what you actually HAVE control over!
So, it’s really not about accepting and giving up but more of “that happened and it’s in the past, now I can focus on enjoying the present and creating the future that I want for myself”, a bit more empowering, right? 🙂
4. Embrace positive and negative emotions.
Also, we resist so much the idea that life is 50% positive emotions and 50% negative ones.
Nothing has gone wrong! It’s just part of being a human being.
When we accept this, we tend to accept the moments when we feel negative emotions.
Then, we aren’t resisting them by thinking “something’s wrong with me!” or “I have everything to be happy, I shouldn’t complain!”
We can just be in that moment and understand that everything is fine, this too shall pass! 🙂
5. You are ENOUGH! 🙂
Also, self-acceptance is about understanding that we are totally and 100% enough just the way we are! 🙂
There’s no such a thing as being perfect or being enough, it cannot be something that some people are and some people are not, how can we agree on the definition of it?
What is enough? When will we know when we’ll be enough?
So, let’s just decide and accept that we are enough, right here right now! 🙂
As you can see, self-acceptance is a very empowering structure for building self-confidence.
Why building self-confidence? Try new things!
I love that question!!
Why should we build our self-confidence?! Why increase your confidence? No negative thoughts!
When you don’t feel too self-confident, you might not trust yourself or your abilities.
You may not take action, not share an opinion…
Which is a shame in my opinion! 🙂
Everyone should share what they have to say! In nice and respecting manners of course! 😉
So, why building self-confidence?
So that you can face every fear and challenge.
Life can get tough sometimes and being self-confident can help you go through anything…
Also, when you are self-confident, you feel quiet, relaxed, and comfortable being who you truly are!
These are amazing emotions! 🙂
If you want to feel better about yourself, I love this article from Mayo Clinic: Self-esteem: Take steps to feel better about yourself
How to build your self-confidence and boost your self-confidence!
As you can see, you can start thinking of one pillar you would start with!
Which one made more sense to you? Learn how to build confidence!
It’s not a quick-confident scheme, but working on it as you would on any other skill can help you be SUPER self-confident very soon! 🙂
If you’re interested in diving into this, have a look at the following resources that I have to offer:
- 7 Ways To Boost Your Self-Confidence
- 6 Steps to Improving Your Self-Esteem
- 8 Burning Questions About Self-Confidence
To sum up and have a healthy self-esteem!
As you can see, self-confidence is a skill to develop!
You CAN become more self-confident in any situation of your life! 🙂
Just start by working/discovering each one of these pillars.
Lack of confidence is not a problem! Have some self-compassion and your self-esteem and self-confidence and self-worth will be stronger than your negative self-talk!
You’ll feel more confident and then it will be easy to overcome self-doubt and find more ways to build long lasting self-confidence! No more insecurity!
