What would make you happy?
Unique wardrobe, luxury car, traveling to a dreamy city?
People frequently think these things are crucial to feeling happy, but “Self-talk” is even more important.
Changing how you talk to yourself will help shift your perspective!
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You probably heard about positive self-talk but don’t know where to start… Right?
And you know that it can improve your life and… Build your self-confidence! 🙂
So let’s dive into this!!
What is self-talk?
Self-talk is your internal conversation. It is a talk by your subconscious mind, and it tells your ideas, thoughts, and questions.
Interesting… Right?
Then self-talk must be positive??
Not necessarily!!
Self-talk can be both positive and negative. It can be encouraging, and it can also be disturbing.
Your self-talk is determined by your personality. In general, if you’re an optimist, your self-talk may be positive and hopeful. Conversely, if you tend to be a pessimist, your self-talk may be negative and discouraging.
What do you need help with?
(Choose between the 2 options)
What are the differences between positive and negative self-talk?
Positive self-talk always makes you feel good about yourself and the things that are going on in your everyday life. It is like having an optimistic voice in your head that always looks on the bright side.
For instance, “I am not feeling better right now, but things could be worse.”
Negative self-talk makes you feel unwell about yourself and the things that are going on in your everyday life. It is like having a voice in your head that always looks on the downer side. Negative self-talk tends to make people miserable.
For instance, “Nothing is ever going to get better.”
Of course, you probably want to have only positive self-talk in your head… 🙂
Let’s discuss this a bit later in this post!!
What are the four different forms of negative self-talk?
Are you not sure if your self-talk is positive or negative?
Let’s read it…
Some forms of negative self-talk include:
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Polarizing
You see things only as either bad or good there is no middle point. You feel that you are a total failure or you have to be perfect.
For example, you may say to yourself “If I’m not succeeding at this, I won’t be successful at all!”
I know… That’s not too fun… 🙁
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Filtering
Think about yourself…
Are you magnify the negative sides of any situation and filter out the positive ones?
Yes, Maybe…
For instance, you had a great day at work. You completed your tasks and were remark favorably on doing a speedy chore. That night, you focus on your plan to do more tasks and forget about the greetings you received.
Are you maybe doing this?
As I always say, being more self-aware is already a very good start! 🙂
The moment that you realize how your brain works and how you can rewire it, is already a small win! 😉
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Catastrophizing
You automatically expect the worst.
We all do it! 🙂 Been there, done that! 😉
But how?
The answer is that you go to a coffee shop and the waiter gets your order wrong and you automatically think that the rest of your day will be a tragedy.
It happens to me, again, to be more self-aware of this kind of reaction can help in shifting the way you look at things in a way that can be more beneficial for you! 🙂
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Personalizing
Are you automatically blaming yourself when something bad occurs?
For example, you hear that dinner with friends is canceled, and you assume that the change in plans is for the reason that no-one desired to be around you. I know, that’s a bit dramatic, but it’s just an example! 🙂
Pfiou! This was a lot of negativity, but we had to go through this… So we understand better and are more familiar with negative self-talk.
Just so you know, I’m still there for you! 🙂
It’s getting better, I can assure you this! 🙂
Does positive self-talk work and how does it work?
Yes, of course….
Well, it’s easy! 😉
Self-talk can improve your performance. Research shows that for example, self-talk can help athletes to boost their performance. It may help them to stay powerful while lifting a set of heavyweights.
Funny example, right? 🙂
Just for you to see that you can use it for many other ways to help you in your day to day life! 🙂
Positive self-talk can have other health benefits, comprising:
- Increased strength
- Greater satisfaction in life
- Better immune function
- Reduced pain
- Enhanced cardiovascular health
- Restored physical well-being
- Reduced death risk
- Less stress…
People with positive self-talk may have mental skills that allow them to think differently, solve problems, and be more competent at dealing with hardships of life. This can reduce the harmful effects of stress and nervousness.
When you begin to distinguish types of negative self-talk which you possess, you can work to turn them into positive self-talk. This task requires practice and time and doesn’t develop overnight but it can be done!!
Now you must be thinking about an obvious question…
What is an example of positive and negative self-talk?
Let me give you a few examples, so you can really see the difference between the two of them. 🙂
And obviously, you’ll see and understand how positive self-talk can more help you in achieving your dreams and hopes…! 🙂
Negative: I failed to do this and embarrassed myself.
Positive: I am proud of myself for trying because that took courage.
🙂
Negative: I have never done this before and I’ll be bad at it.
Positive: This is an ideal opportunity for me to learn from others and grow as well.
🙂
Negative: This will work in no way.
Positive: I can and will give it my best to make it work!
Also, it’s not possible to be positive all the time…
I needed to add something about this here.
I’m all in for this “positive vibe” and to try to look at things in a more positive way possible.
But I want to say here that it’s important to first of all, when something is happening, to accept what’s going on and the negative emotions that we may be feeling.
It’s not going to be comfortable, but accepting what happened and say “that sucks!” is the best first step you can take.
Then, you can be more positive and try to look at the bright side of things.
What I’m saying here is that often, we will want to cheer ourselves up and say “it’s okay, it’s not that bad!” but actually, it’s annoying! 🙂
If we are annoyed and sad, let’s accept it first and then, we can start thinking positively, you see the difference? 🙂
We shouldn’t resist it in the first place! 🙂
How can I practice positive self-talk?
Let me share with you 6 ways that can really work for you and help you understand how you can practice positive self-talk to get success in life.
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Cut negative people out of your life
Everyone can have a down day and be negative or moody. However, some people look like to have down days every day of their life.
Do you have these type of people in your surrounding?
If yes, just try to choose the time you’re spending with these people.
When you are going back home after seeing them, how do you feel?
I like to spend time with people that are inspiring me, that are interesting and that I’m feeling great when I go back home. 🙂
Do you know what I mean? We are also responsible for our time spent, we can choose with whom and what! 🙂
Attitudes of the people you are around will affect your attitude too. If someone has a negative attitude, they are likely to bring you down, especially if their negativity is persistent over time.
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Be grateful for everything
A great way to create positive self-talk is to recognize the things in your life for which you can be grateful.
Finding things you are grateful for in life daily helps to improve your attitude, which will help you have better, more positive self-talk.
One way to practice gratitude is by starting writing gratitude in your dairy.
Some of the things will be small and some will be big. This will help you focus on the good things that are happening in your life.
The expression of your gratitude in a dairy makes these emotions more touchable. You are helping yourself by focusing on the goodness in your life.
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Use positive words with others
Having negative thoughts leads to negative self-talk. If you are in negativity, then, let’s try something else! 🙂
What comes out of your mouth can be positive or it can be negative. You are the one deciding and responsible for this.
Now I have a few questions for you:
- Are you sometimes finding fault in your partner/spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend?
- Do you focus on the positives and speak using hopeful words to your partner or spouse?
Answer it and think about it…
When you speak words of negativity, nagging, and fault to your loved ones or spouse, they begin to feel negative around you. Their response to you is not going to be positive.
They will probably respond with a negative remark such as “you continuously nag me” or “you’re also not doing…”
What is this type of behavior?
A pattern of negativity. 🙂
If you can let the little things go and instead focus on the positive and use uplifting words, your life will be more contented.
For example, say “thank you for making me dinner” or “thank you for taking out the garbage”. These positive words will get positive words in return and more positive actions from them.
Your relationship will become more positive because of your focus on their positive actions. You have to take the time to recognize these things and say thanks, it will boost your relationships.
As you know, “Positivity breeds positivity and negativity breeds negativity.”
Choose the positive for yourself and others.
I know that it’s not always easy, but slowly slowly, I’m sure that we can get better at it, always! 🙂
And remember, being self-aware is the very first step! 🙂
You’re doing amazing by just reading this article!!
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Imagine your success
Your ability to imagine your success is linked to your ability to achieve success.
How to start it?
Here’s the way…
If you want to run twenty miles today, visualize the beginning, middle, and endpoint. Think about how you will prepare for your run, what it will feel as you get going and how you plan to drive through the tough instants you will have on your run.
Take a minute and think…
How will you feel the moment that you will be done with it? What are the emotions you may be experiencing? Are you feeling empowered? Proud? Strong?
Now plan about what you will tell yourself when times get tough to keep yourself going. Also, think about how you will react when things get tough and tell yourself that you will push through when it gets difficult.
Then imagine yourself finishing your run and how you will feel once you completed your goal line.
Visualize the entire process and how you get success. This will help you when you get to the actual run because you have thought about your success (and the possible obstacles!).
Imagining helps you think positively about the situation and encourages you to see that your vision of success is possible.
Yesss, you can do this!! 🙂
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Paste positive affirmations
A great way to provide positive self-talk to yourself is to write it down.
Take a pencil and pen. And start writing.
Here are some examples just use some sticky notes:
- I am adventurous and I embrace all that life has to offer.
- I am resilient and I’ll be okay no matter what.
- I am grateful for everything.
- I will choose happiness today.
- I am special, nobody else in the world is exactly like me.
- I show love to myself and others daily.
- I am doing the best that I can.
- I am sympathetic to myself and others.
Paste them on your bathroom mirror, your refrigerator, next to your computer screen, or wherever you can see them often daily.
Having positive messages around you helps to make positive self-talk in your mind.
I want to add something here about positive affirmation.
Some people may say that it doesn’t work to simply repeat sentences without believing in it. I 100% agree with this. You need to truly believe in every affirmation you’re using.
I used to doubt myself a lot a few years ago and I wrote I remember “I am good enough”, but I didn’t believe in it.
I was repeating it to myself every day and I was getting annoyed because I felt like it didn’t fit me, because it was too “high” to reach, to feel that I was good enough.
So I started instead with the affirmation “I’m doing my best” and this was more a middle that I could achieve.
I felt more satisfied with this one and slowly slowly, I was believing in it!
So I think that positive affirmations do work, but you need to believe in them, 100%! 🙂
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Don’t stay in the past
I know that sometimes what happened in the past needs to get out. That we need to talk about it.
But here I’m talking about the way we are focusing our energy on.
Think about this!
Everyone has a past. We have it, but we are NOT our past.
Don’t concentrate on these failures, mistakes, or negative things that have happened in your life.
Keep your mind focused on the present and the future.
Looking at what’s going on and what can happen is giving energy and power.
Looking back is not helping because we cannot change anything of what happened… We can learn for it :), but for positive self-talk, picture yourself in the future and think of what you want to see!
I really like this example from real life…
There is a reason why the windshield is so big and rear-view mirror is so small in your means of transportation. What’s ahead is far more essential than what is behind you… Right? 🙂
How having positive self-talk is related to building your self-confidence?
Raise Your Words, Raise Yourself!!! I like to say! 🙂
It means that having positive self-talk is related to building your self-confidence.
Notice this…
The power of words comes from the beliefs we have in.
Actually, a lot of our self-talk is negative. This negativity preference causes the brain to overreact to bad words. We can overcome this preference by becoming more careful of the words we choose.
And you remember that I believe that our thoughts create the results that we have in our life!
So, if you want to be more self-confident, you need to have thoughts that are supporting this aim! 🙂
And what could they be?
A few could be, as mentioned in this article:
- I deserve to be happy and successful
- I have the power to change myself
- I can make my own choices and decisions
- I am free to choose to live as I wish and to give priority to my desires
- I can choose happiness whenever I wish no matter what my circumstances
- I am flexible and open to change in every aspect of my life
And as I said it before, you need to BELIEVE in them to see a real impact on your self-confidence… 🙂
To sum up!
Change is not always about more.
Sometimes it’s about doing less and shifting your mind and what you say to yourself to something more positive.
Think of the results that you want in your life!
You need to have thoughts that are comforting you and helping you in the results that you truly want! 🙂
Start with small changes instead of big changes consistently. The momentum will give you good results with time.
Try to do it and change your perspective of life by developing positive self-talk.
You can do this, I’m 100% sure! 🙂
And I’ll be there to applause for your success!!
