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Why can relationships be so hard from time to time?!
Is there a way to make us communicate easier? Having fewer expectations, misunderstandings and quiproquos?
In fact, I thought of this and put together 8 tips to help you improve your relationships.
It really has helped me make my relationships better and I truly believe that it can help you too!
Back then, when our ancestors used to live in caves, they were living together as a community.
You are stronger when you live together. You can find food easier, fight the enemy and contribute to the specie survival!
This is why relationships are so important up to today.
We crave deep connections! We want to be understood, heard, seen and loved!
This is why we have relationships, no matter the nature of them. We hope that they will all go well and that people will love us for who we truly are and that they will like our company!
But let’s face it, sometimes, it’s not as easy at it sounds it should… Right?
Are relationships supposed to be hard?
And not all of our relationships will be hard at the same time or will face the same difficulties…
It’s just not pure science and not every solution will work with every kind of relationship!
Just keep in mind that you will at some point face some difficulties but that there are ways to make your life easier!
Relationships aren’t supposed to be hard, at least, not all the time! 🙂
Why are relationships so hard?
The main reason is that we are so different.
Imagine this: Everyone has their own glasses to look at the reality!
Each one of us has different beliefs about life. We have lived different experiences that lead us to believe certain things over others!
We have different expectations, different needs that are more important than others.
Keep in mind that sometimes, it’s already quite hard to know ourselves! To be comfortable with ourselves, to be our own friend! So, how can we improve our relationships with others when we don’t know how to do it with ourselves?
And in all of this, you need to make compromises with another person, to meet halfway…
And even if you speak the same language, it seems so hard sometimes to communicate!
How can we make it better?
Let’s go through some tips to answer the question “why are relationships so hard?”
How to make your relationships better
Let’s see how you can make your relationships better and communicating easier starting today!
What do you need help with?
(Choose between the 2 options)
1. Take care of yourself first!
I know that this has been said and said again but it’s always so true…
You can’t pour from an empty cup! Take care of yourself!
It’s what they say about the oxygen mask on the plane… You need to make sure that your mask is in place before helping others.
So, take good care of yourself first if you want to improve the relationships you have with others!
Check out this 30-Day Self-Care Challenge Ideas!
2. Love them unconditionally!
No matter the nature of the relationship, love this person unconditionally.
They do not need to do anything special or to prove you something, but just because they are there, they are themselves and it’s that simple!
Imagine, if there would be no expectations, no conditions to love each other, won’t we earn so much time? Won’t we be able to spend time on what truly matters? Which is sharing, talking, connecting on a deep level? This is what truly fulfills us! 🙂
3. Do not try to change them!
I know that we all really want to help others and to help them the best version of themselves!
I believe that we can indeed have an influence on someone’s behavior, but you cannot change someone.
The best is to take care of yourself as I said before and then, you’ll become an example in this person’s eyes.
Meanwhile, accept who they are and let them deal with their stuff! 🙂
4. Listen genuinely to them!
You know how much I’m into listening and how much I think that it’s an amazing skill to have!
It’s not even asking you too much! 🙂
You don’t need to give advice (unless they ask you to of course!).
Ask questions to better understand and make them feel valuable and important! Just like I shared as tip number 1 in the amazing post of my friend Nadalie 41 Experts Share How To Build Strong Relationships.
5. Do not judge them/criticize them!
Again, we really think that we know better.
But try to pay attention to the way you might be judging or criticizing your surroundings.
Just love them for who they are, let them be!
No matter who you criticize, it says something about you in the end… So, take the time to pay attention to this and to ask yourself: What can you understand from you criticizing this person? Why are you doing it? Is it helpful?
No need to beat yourself up with the answers to these questions! Just start by being more self-aware! 🙂
It’s already an amazing start! 🙂
6. Want match!
Take the time to listen to this fabulous episode of The Life Coach School Podcast by Brooke Castillo.
It’s called “Want Match”.
What she’s sharing is simply GENIUS! She’s saying that we cannot change anyone that we love.
We need to accept them for who they are.
Also, she’s insisting on the fact that we should discover what we both want, so we can have a “want match”. What she means by that is that when 2 people are agreeing on genuinely doing something, this improves their relationship.
No one should do something that they do not want to do.
So, you should ask them if they would want to do something for you! Not to expect them to do anything for you! 🙂
7. Understand their needs and emotions, be empathetic!
Try to always understand what others are going through.
What experiences they maybe have been through, what emotions they might be feeling… Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand their reality as much as possible!
Also, the moment that you love them unconditionally, let them do and be whatever they want. For example, if they are currently busy raising kids or traveling the world, they might have less time for you and you may see them less.
Do not take it personally and try to give them the space that they want and maybe need in this moment of their lives.
8. Help them build their self-confidence!
You can help them in building their self-confidence by genuinely believing in them and supporting them in everything they do!
Encourage them and be 100% there for them! 🙂
9. Be genuinely happy for them!
Last essential tip for today, be genuinely happy and excited for them.
Of course, it can happen that someone else’s success can make us think of our own success… We might wonder why it’s not happening to us…?!
But, try to really detach yourself from what you’re supposed to do and be and to truly be happy for them! 🙂
How having better relationships can help you build your self-confidence…
First of all, you understood that you need to take care of the relationship with YOURSELF first and then, you can improve the ones you have with others.
So, by taking time for yourself, you are enjoying more and more your own company.
And this helps you build your self-confidence because you are showing to yourself that you are worth it!
Another way that improving your relationships can help you boost your self-confidence is the following: When you feel good with yourself, when you love yourself, you have more love to offer to others!
This makes you a better company to others! 🙂
People will love being next to you, spending time with you! And this, it’s a great self-confidence boost! 🙂
To sum up!
As you can see, you can already improve your relationships by applying those few tips to your life, starting today.
You will already some benefits in your relationships, I’m 100% convinced of that! 🙂
So, which one are you going to start with?!