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Every day, you’re finding proof for thoughts that you have.
Finding proof may not serve you… Because you’re focusing on a problem more and more!
Let’s discover how it works exactly and how paying attention can improve your life tremendously!
We have 60,000 thoughts per day!
We never learned that we have every single day more than 60,000 thoughts!
We actually have way more power over them than we think.
The thoughts that we have are the way we look at the world, the way we create our reality.
Think about the fact that two individuals will have different memories of the same moment because of what they focused on!
The very first step is to understand that you have so many thoughts every day of your life and that you DO have control over them.
Why having control over our thoughts?
This is amazing news actually!
Your thoughts really create your reality.
When you think about something, you are creating an emotion, that emotion is making you take a kind of action, that drives the results that you currently have.
Again, it’s amazing news because as you can see, it all starts from your thoughts to the results that you have or actually, WANT to create!
For example, you would love to be making more sport, even just 10 minutes per day.
If you’re like me, you may have the thought “10′ per day are hard!”
This thought makes you feel discouraged maybe.
What action are you taking when you’re discouraged? Nothing!
This brings you the result that you have: Not making the 10′ workout you would like to do.
Ok, I know that it isn’t as easy as it sounds to fix this! But this example is just to show you how much influence we can have on our thoughts and then, by extension, on our whole life! 🙂
What beliefs do you have?
This is what is super interesting!
First, what is a belief?
A belief is a thought that you thought so much that it became unconscious.
The brain LOVES being efficient, so it’s like driving a car.
When you’ll be comfortable enough to know how to use the 5 gears, your brain will move that technique to the unconscious and you’ll be able to focus more on the road or anything else.
We all have beliefs!
I have a post and podcast episode about it, check it out, it’s fascinating!
For example, it could be from this form:
- If somebody is doing this, it means that…
- This person said that, which means that…
- If I will be doing that, it will mean that…
Let’s take the first example:
If somebody isn’t saying “hi” to me, it means that they don’t appreciate me or that they don’t love me.
It’s a belief! What if this person just didn’t see you?
Or what if they have a different story in their mind?
We are not in other’s people’s heads, we have absolutely 0 idea what’s going on inside of it!
And it’s kind of not our business, too!
So, what beliefs do you have about life in general, about how other people should behave and… About yourself?
What do you need help with?
(Choose between the 2 options)
You find proof of what you believe!
The problem that we are encountering when it comes to beliefs is that we are then looking for proof all.the.time.
What do I mean by that?
If you take the example that I shared before: “If somebody isn’t saying “hi” to me, it means that they don’t appreciate me or that they don’t love me.”
Each time that someone won’t say “hi” to you, you’re going to think that you’ve been ignored!
And you’re stucking yourself in that thought-process!
Or for example, your partner isn’t taking the trash out.
You will wait for him/her not to take the trash out and be mad at him/her in advance and on purpose!
A last example to make sure that’s clear as it could be, you think that you’ve been a bit overeating lately and you’re beating yourself up.
Each time that you’ll eat something when you’re not hungry, your brain is going to tell you “See! You’re overeating!”
For every thought that we have, we will look for proof in our reality to confirm it!
Remember, your brain just wants to be efficient! 🙂
Nothing has gone wrong and it’s totally legitimate!
Don’t beat yourself up and discover what you can do about this!
What if you would give it a chance? And stop looking for proof?
What we can do instead is questioning it… Am I right?
As much as my brain wants to tell me this, I can look at this in a way as “I see you, brain! Nice reminder!”
But what if…
- “If somebody isn’t saying “hi” to me, it means that they’re busy thinking about something and that it has nothing to do with me?
- My partner not taking the trash has nothing to do with me… He/she just didn’t think about it, it’s not against me.
- I took a bite of this brownie because it looked absolutely delicious and it doesn’t mean that I always overeat lately.
What if we would be more aware that things are maybe a bit different than what we think they are?
What if we would be more open-minded and stop looking for proof for our beliefs?
Your next action!
The first step is to be aware of beliefs that you may have.
Pay attention to some thoughts that you have and question if it’s always true?
It’s asking for a bit of practice, so don’t beat yourself up if it’s not that easy to do at the start!
The second step is to look for possibilities.
Is it always the case? Is it always like this?
The third step is to stop looking for proof.
When you catch yourself, understand that it has a positive intention but stop your brain by saying to yourself: “I understand what you’re trying to do! I know that it’s not always like this! Thank’s for the warning!”
Doing like this will assure you that you give others and also yourself a chance for doing or saying things and not be super misinterpreted! 🙂
How it will help you build your self-confidence
Doing this will surely boost your self-confidence because it will help you stop beating yourself up!
You’ll discover that it’s not because you said one thing or did something that it always has to be this way!
If you take the example of the overeating part, it’s not because one time you overate, that it makes you an overeater!
When you stop looking for proof and look at yourself and what you are doing with more compassion and curiosity, you build trust with yourself.
You then know that you have your own back and not doing things always perfectly and not being perfect is totally fine!
Nothing has gone wrong! 🙂
Also, being more tolerant toward other people is also a huge boost for your self-confidence.
You feel quieter and more peaceful.
To sum up!
As you can see, discovering what beliefs you have is amazing right?
And then, observing how much we are looking for proof to confirm these beliefs is even more fascinating, right? 🙂
But, you DO have an influence on what you’re thinking, feeling and doing!
So, start by being more aware of what you are thinking (I’m reminding you that you are not your thoughts, you have thoughts!) and then, observe how much you’re looking for proof in your day-to-day life.
When you find them, don’t beat yourself up, ever! 🙂
Look at all of this with compassion and curiosity!
Remind yourself that your brain has great intentions!
You may also be interested in…
- You’re Like a Newborn, Out of The Box Idea #1 to Build Real Confidence
- 10 Burning Questions About Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem
- How to Stop People Pleasing, 4 Super Easy Steps To Do So
- Self-Esteem & Self-Confidence, What’s the Difference?