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How can you overcome your fears?
How is that related to building your self-confidence?
Listen/read right now to stop being afraid!
The amazing thing about fears!
Imagine our old brothers and sisters that used to live in caves, they absolutely needed fear!
Why is that?
Fear would prevent them from dying!
The survival brain (that we have in common with them!) kept them alive from getting killed.
Honestly, this is one of the reasons why our species is the only one that survives all time.
So, this is something absolutely FABULOUS about our brain recognizing what can be dangerous or not by making us being afraid of what is unknown and unfamiliar to us.
The #1 problem with fears…
The thing is that human beings of the 21 century, still have this amazing brain that is keeping us alive but it’s misleading us!
It’s keeping us safe from little actions that have no negative consequences but our brain, well-intentioned, is preventing us from feeling these negative emotions because he thinks that we might die.
For example, if you want to start working on a project and you don’t actually know how to do it, you might think thoughts such as: “I have no idea how to do this so I won’t be successful at it!” and you’ll feel maybe emotions such as “scared or insecure”.
Your brain is so helpful, it’s trying to prevent you from pain or even dying!
But your brain cannot make the difference between a real death-life risk and just feeling a negative emotion!
Because as I always say, every action we are taking and every action we are NOT taking is because of the way that we think that it will make us feel!
Think about ANY action you’re taking!
So, when you really think about it, the only thing that can really happen when taking an action, the very worst-case scenario is a negative emotion!
And you know that I truly believe that there’s no emotion that we should not be willing to feel since emotion is simply a vibration in your body.
You can feel ANY kind of emotion, it’s a skill to develop!
I’m talking deeper about it in this post: 6 Steps To Mastering Your Emotions [Infographic]
Be aware! What are you really afraid of?
The very first thing to do is to ask yourself these questions:
- What is something that you really want to do?
- What results do you want to get in one area of your life?
- How do you want to feel instead?
Do not feel overwhelmed by these questions, just take the time to come up with an answer.
Then, ask yourself:
- What do you think is the reason why you don’t have it today? Why you don’t have those results yet?
- How do you feel?
These questions will guide you to the fear that you have.
What are you really afraid of happening if you’re trying to get that result?
Going back to the example from before: Starting working on a new project.
The biggest fears we usually think of are:
- Being afraid of failing.
- Being afraid of working on something and not getting the results that we want.
- Thinking that we were never persistent enough before so why bother?
So take the time and don’t beat yourself up if you don’t find all the answers to your questions but take the time to ask yourself: What are you really afraid of?
Don’t let fear keep you stuck! Unstuck yourself!
Being aware of the fears that are behind every inaction is essential!
It’s already an AMAZING start! Be proud of reading that/listening to that until now! Pet yourself on the back!
Then, don’t believe everything your brain is telling you! It’s trying to keep you alive but you don’t have to react to what it’s telling you!
How to do that in actionable steps?
Here you go!
1. As stated before, ask yourself: What results do I really want in one area of my life?
2. Raise awareness and ask yourself: What am I afraid can happen? What is the worst-case scenario? The funny thing is that most of the time, you’re already living your worst-case scenario!
For example, you’re afraid of not getting fit, but by not moving, you’re already not getting fit! 😉
3. Understand that it’s your brain preventing you from danger.
Accept it and embrace that it’s an amazing tool! It’s doing that by making you have thoughts such as:
“I can’t do that” or “I don’t know how to do that”.
At that moment, simply acknowledge that these are just thoughts and that you are NOT your thoughts!
You’ll want to go for a 10′ walk just to feel healthier and your brain might tell you “10′ won’t be enough to feel healthier”.
Do not go there!
Listen to the thoughts, but you don’t have to obey what your brain is telling you!
There’s been a time in your life you disobey right? So, do it again without feeling guilty about it! 😉
4. Don’t beat yourself up!
Questioning what results you want and what fears you might have is a skill to develop and by already listening/reading this is truly amazing!
You are exactly where you should be! 🙂
What do you need help with?
(Choose between the 2 options)
Inaction is a decision!
Simply keep in mind that every inaction you’re taking is an action!
For example, if you decide not to go for a 10′ walk to feel a bit healthier, you are making the decision not to do anything to feel healthier.
Which isn’t something wrong! Just be aware of the choices you’re making and love your reasons for doing so.
I love lying down on the couch, nothing’s wrong with the couch! 😉
When it comes to decision-making, it can be so hard!
In my course This is Confidence, I help you become a master at decision making!
Overcoming fears = building your self-confidence!
Of course, being more aware of what you want and what you’re afraid of is a great way to build your confidence!
You will then feel more in control of your life, you’ll feel comfortable, secure, relaxed, you’ll feel like you have things under control.
You understand that it’s simply your brain that is trying to save you and that you don’t have to react to its great intentions!
This is just one out of multiple ways to build your confidence! 🙂
To sum up!
As you can see, fears are there for a reason.
But you don’t have to stop taking action or not taking action at all because of them.
Become aware of their existence and then, take the action anyway!
As I said many times, the only 2 options that can happen when it comes to taking action are having the success that you expected or you get feedback.
Nothing has gone wrong! Everything is fine. You just discovered that this way isn’t working, you don’t have to make it mean anything else! Try again and again and again until you get the results that you want!
I believe in YOU!
What do you have to lose to believe in yourself too? 🙂
You may also be interested in…
- 6 Steps To Mastering Your Emotions [Infographic]
- 10 Burning Questions About Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem
- Building Self-Confidence: Discover The 12 Pillars
- Self-Esteem & Self-Confidence, What’s the Difference?