A confident woman commands attention. You need to know how to become a confident woman to mark your stance in any situation. Confidence builds personality and self-esteem. Being a woman you won’t want to miss out on opportunities.
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✓ Should I read this? Why not? You should read this post if you are struggling to make decisions. Big decisions about life issues and how to handle them would need confidence. Lack of confidence can complicate how you handle issues. You need to learn how to rise above all negative emotions to realize your potential.
✓ How is it going to help me? Everyone deserves the best in life. Good living, relationship, good job, promotions, and recognition once in a while. Those are some life qualities every woman deserves to have. Confidence plays a significant role to meet many of your dreams. You need to learn how to become a confident woman to value yourself. This blog post contains real-life, proven and workable insights. They can help you realize your potential of becoming what you want.
Do you ever feel void of personality whenever you lack confidence? I often feel that way when I’m at my lowest. Know how to become a confident woman to define your personality.
Let me explain how that is.
Last week I was going for an interview. For my attire, I had an expensive suit with matching shoes. I had one of my stylish and classic handbags. I had my makeup and styled my hair. I was feeling glamorous and ready to face the interview panel.
I stepped out of my bedroom feeling all confident and set for the interview. My friend who had come to visit met me in the hallway. “Tamara, you are smart, and you look gorgeous, but your hair is letting you down.” She exploded the remark without realizing what she had done. “What!” I exclaimed.
I flopped on the seat next to me. My legs could not hold me any longer. Like a flash, my confidence was crushed!
At that time, my handbag, my shoes, and all my painstaking dressing lost meaning.
I felt devoid of personality, which eroded my confidence. I wasn’t ready to face the panel in the state I was.
How to Become a Confident Woman
I am a personal development coach. I have known that confidence can make you succeed in whatever you aspire to do. I want to show you how to become a smart and confident woman.
I am a confident woman but I also have low confidence moments. Everyone does. During those moments, I use the following guidelines to regain my confidence.
You too can do that! 🙂
You can’t attempt anything without making prior preparation and hope to get it right.
For instance, when you prepare for a match or competition, you can face your opponent with confidence. Preparation is essential in building confidence. How do you prepare yourself to gain self-confidence?
1. Set your mind to what you want to do
Preparation begins in your mind, also known as mental preparation. Your mind setting should precede your body. Visualize and internalize your preparation plans.
2. Identify what you know
You must realize what you know now, to prepare for the next unknown step. What you have achieved should be your foundation for your other preparations. A mathematical method of teaching children mathematics uses ‘known to the unknown.’
What you know would help you unravel the next unknown to get to the next level.
Move from ‘the known to the unknown.’
3. Identify what you want to achieve
Before you set to do something, plan what you want to achieve. Identify your goals to plan around them.
Set a few achievable goals. Be lenient to yourself. Don’t overstretch yourself with goals and targets you can struggle to meet. Achieving a goal at a time can help you gain confidence bit by bit.
To get more information on how to achieve goals, I highly recommend you to have a look at this podcast episode and post: 6 Easy Steps to Setting Goals and Achieving Them and also Top 26 Personal Development Goals to Change Your Life!
4. Make commitments
Once you have your goals all set, you must commit yourself to achieve them. It would not serve your purpose when you have set goals without being accountable to meet each of them.
With the right preparations, you can have enough confidence to face any situation.
Face your F.E.A.R
Fear is a healthy emotion. Without the emotion fear, you may lack your ‘sixth’ sense which can help you perceive danger ahead.
The fear I’m discussing here is F.E.A.R (False Evidence Appearing Real). Fear creates false evidence in your mind and twists it to seem a reality.
That kind of fear is the worst enemy of confidence. You can never jumpstart any action when harboring that fear. Shun that fear or face it headlong to steer towards your goals with confidence.
How can you overcome your fears to become a confident woman?
5. Change the F.E.A.R picture to be B.I.G
Your image must be B.I.G – ‘best in game’ to ignite your confidence.
Fear begins with your thoughts. Before then, your mind first forms a mind-boggling picture then gets into fear. Change that F.E.A.R picture to visualize a B.I.G one and a successful one. Play around with your imagination.
Walk your mind from the initial step of your action to the final one. Imagine people cheering you instead of jeering. See people accepting your suggestions instead of rejecting them. Imagine that person you care for admiring you instead of sneering.
Replay your imagination until you feel confident enough to undertake a challenge. You can also use your imagination as your guide to work out reality.
6. Realize your fears to face them
Did you ever watch an American TV game show “Fear Factor?” If you watched, you must have seen how the participants tackled their fears headlong. They overcame every ‘nerve-racking’ stunt for a cash prize.
The opening remarks of the TV show were, “Imagine a world where your greatest fears become reality.” You too can realize your fears to face and overcome them.
Various F.E.A.Rs can crowd you and prevent you from achieving your goals by robbing you of your confidence. Could it be fear of failing, fear of criticism, fear of rejection, or fear of this and that? Overcome your fears to be confident.
“It’s not the absence of fear, it’s overcoming it. Sometimes you’ve got to blast through and have faith” (Emma Watson – Actress).
Self-doubt means you don’t trust yourself to handle anything for success. Self-doubt comes like an inner negative voice that hinders yours to progress. Self-doubt can be a feeling of inadequacy which can erode your confidence.
Know how you can overcome self-doubt.
7. Keep moving
No matter how demoralized or how hard it might be, don’t stop moving. Keep on trying until you reach your goals. Like an Olympic athlete, you must compete to complete your race no matter your position. ‘Throwing in towel’ before the end of your race can shake your confidence.
Do you know how to recognize a confident woman? A confident woman is one who doesn’t give up easily. She is one who pushes for results.
8. Shun negative thoughts of self-doubt
Who doesn’t hear those negative voices? At the back of your mind, you sometimes hear a voice telling you something like, you’re inadequate to have an admirer. Or, anyone to notice you.
Everyone has a voice, but the difference is how you respond. Don’t give in to your mind playing tricks on you.
Once you are in a state of self-doubt, you fail to make headways towards your success. Often, self-doubt leads to giving up before attempting any action.
The dangerous source of self-doubt is feeling unworthy. You think you are not good enough for whatever you ought to do.
Jennifer Lopez once said, “Doubt is a killer. You just have to know who you are and what you stand for.”
9. Challenging inadequacy
When you feel inadequate, it means you doubt yourself.
You might be suitable and qualified for a promotion at your place of work. Or you want to get into a relationship. Either way, inadequacy can erode your confidence.
With inadequacy, you doubt your ability to take up the challenge and hence nurse the fear of trying. Know how to be a confident woman at work or in a relationship by challenging your inadequacy.
It’s dangerous to be in a state of self-doubt, especially when in a relationship. You can endure an abusive relationship because you feel inadequate for love. You stick in the relationship not for love but for fear of losing what you don’t have.
Identify your strength that matches your situation. Set your mind on that strength to supercharge you. Feel adequate to gain confidence.
10. Change “I can’t” to “I can”
Self-doubt is self-made. You only have to believe you can’t, then definitely you won’t do anything. Try believing you can and you’ll be amazed how much you can achieve. With the right attitude of ‘I can’ you’ll be unstoppable and confident to tackle and handle any situation.
11. Compare yourself to yourself
Arianna Huffington believes and says, “I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself.”
You are unique. Be your competition. Don’t compare yourself with others and especially the strong personalities around you. Such a comparison can demoralize you to ignite self-doubt.
Try and be better than what you were last year or last month. This year you have managed to save more money than you did last year. Last month alone, you made higher sales than ever. This month you’re confident to do better than that.
The best part about comparing yourself to yourself is that, even when you fail to beat yourself, no one can blame you.
To get all the information about comparing yourself to others, I highly recommend you to have a look at this post: How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others!
12. Acknowledge your progress
Everyone has their seasons and different ways of progressing. Think about your progress, where you are coming from, and where you are going. Once you realize the extent of your progress and the life strides you have made, you can cease being self-doubting.
Stretch your boundaries
Have you set some borders to hedge yourself around your comfort zone? Staying in one position for too long can make you rusty. Break the hedges to stretch your boundaries.
How do you do that?
13. Strive to conquer your comfort zone
Stir yourself out of your comfort zone. Make a move towards that uncomfortable position you most dread. Taste roughness to gain toughness.
Get out of the confines of your comfort zone. Workout your confidence muscles to exercise what seems impossible to you.
Instead of sitting and watching TV series one after another and feeling dejected, start applying jobs to the firms you desire working for. Post about 10 applications daily. After all, you can’t work in all those firms at the same time. You only need to work at one firm. Among all those applications, you might not miss a chance for an interview.
Adapt yourself to believe the cliché ‘no pain, no gain,’ and you will gear yourself to confidence.
To get more information on how discomfort is actually amazing, I highly recommend you to have a look at this podcast episode and post: Why and How Discomfort Is The Key to your Success!
14. Overcome your struggles
That exam you are struggling to pass to get your most desired promotion has a solution. The first solution is to work your way by all means to pass the examination.
If you keep on postponing or procrastinating, you may never make headway on the promotion. Supercharge yourself by launching your plans physically and mentally. Once you overcome your initial struggles of procrastination, you get confident to proceed with the rest of the process.
15. Take risks to seize an opportunity
You hold your social life, life at work, home, or your relationship to your confidence. Confidence creates success in your endeavors. Access life opportunities by taking risks.
To become a confident woman, you need to step out and risk criticism. Don’t mind being laughed at, stepped on, and other ‘hard-knock’ experiences to seize opportunities.
“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” (Eleanor Roosevelt).
You must appear optimistic in the way you look. How people behave when you approach them can ‘make or break’ your confidence. Groom yourself and be neat.
Take a teacher, for instance, children can judge the intelligence of a teacher by appearance.
A critical look to your appearance can demean you and make you lose your confidence.
How can you look confident?
16. Work on your attire
The way you dress can tell loads about you. You dress to impress. Your dressing would be your first impression on your potential future client or mate. Like I had mentioned, how one looks at you when you first meet can uphold your confidence or crumble it.
Dress for the occasion at hand. A confident woman is attractive, or is it an attractive woman is confident?
The way you look is how people perceive you. Give whoever you are meeting the best impression about you.
17. Work on your looks
Your attire could be on point. Do your looks complement your attire?
Groom yourself to match your dressing. Your look is undeniably essential to boost your confidence.
Reflect on your achievements
Looking back to see how much you have achieved can boost your confidence. Is it the promotion you had recently? Is it your relationship that you’ve managed to steer to success? Considering your past achievement, albeit small, can help you become a confident woman.
How can you do that?
18. Recording all your achievements
Build your confidence by counting your successes. Realizing how far you have come can show you that you have the potential of achieving anything ahead of you.
19. Share your achievements
Share your achievements with people who matter in your life. Listening to positive remarks about what you can do can boost your confidence.
Credit yourself for achievements
Reward yourself. You deserve it. After your hard work, you need to pamper yourself with a glamorous gift or an outing. Be the first to cheer yourself. You have made it!
How do you do that?
20. Accept yourself
Be your cheerleader. Be the first to pat your back once you do something right. Tell yourself, “You did it, gal!”
Accept your strengths and failures equally. Then you can amend your weaknesses without losing your confidence. Everyone fails in one way or another. What matters is how you recollect yourself after your mess. Accept your messes and breakdowns, correct them and then move on.
Never be afraid to fail. We all learn through failing.
21. Love you
Love you for being who you are. Begin your love journey by loving you. You can then realize that you are loveable. Loving yourself is the pinnacle of how to be a confident woman in a relationship. Self-love attracts love from others.
When you love you, you live a gaiety life in self-confidence. When others see that you love and appreciate yourself, they respond the same way towards you. See in yourself what you expect others to see. If you don’t see anything good in you, then you’ll hide your goodness from others.
For instance, if you are good at singing but you doubt it, you can never stand before people to sing. Nobody would ever know you are good at it.
22. Be yourself
Don’t lose your identity for others. Stop struggling to be what you think others want you to be. Be your original!
Pretending to be what you are not can mess your confidence. You can never meet everyone’s desire, no matter how much you try.
Choose what you want to do and where you want to go. If you listen to people’s opinions you might end up not doing anything. People have different opinions and trying to live up to each of them can be treacherous to your progress. You are unique, and that is YOU! 🙂
To get more information on how to be more authentic, I highly recommend you to have a look at this podcast episode and post: Living Authentically, 4 Ways to Free Yourself!
To sum up!
Becoming a confident woman is a step-by-step journey to success. Only you can aspire to take the first step. Form an attitude of a confident woman and always strive to maintain it. Once you have that attitude and accept yourself, the rest is easy to work out.
Remember, what crushed my confidence in my experience I shared with you earlier on. I didn’t make my hair to match my dressing. At least my friend dared to point it out. I managed to seek professional help to set my hair. The result was remarkable!
I wish I had read Hillary Clinton’s quote before, then I should have known to “take criticism seriously, but not personally….” Anyway, I improved my personality and…. That’s a story for another day! Remind me to share it with you!
To your self-confident YOU! 🙂
You may also be interested in…
- 7 Ways To Boost Your Self-Confidence
- 32 Self Improvement Tips To Bring You Success In Life
- 15 Habits Of Extremely Successful People
- Self-Esteem & Self-Confidence, What’s the Difference?
What is your secret of how to become a confident woman?
Please share to keep the conversation going! 🙂