Have you ever felt rejected?
Wondering how to cope with that feeling?
Discover 15 honest tips on how to overcome rejection and claim your power back!
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How to overcome rejection by close family members and so-called close friends
Life isn’t a smooth ride, so it is impossible to avoid rejections entirely! 🙂
Let me show you how I overcame rejections and made peace with that emotion.
When talking about all rejections, the worst out of all is being rejected by loved ones — notably, close friends and family.
This is the reason why you’ll find in this post that I’m talking a bit more about rejection by family members and close friends.
Let’s get into this right away, so you can start feeling better today! 🙂
How to define rejection?
In my opinion, “rejection” is the emotion of someone/something being refused/pushed away.
We can question its objectivity! Is it the reality or is it maybe what we imagine the reality to be?
Don’t get me wrong! I know that sometimes, a situation can be qualified as real rejection (when someone is saying “no” to someone else!), but sometimes, I truly believe that it can be questioned.
Many sensitive people are the ones who feel the pain of rejections more often than the ones who are more confident.
For example, some might feel rejected when a friend doesn’t reply immediately or takes hours to respond. Or maybe when they don’t get invited to a party when actually, the host just forgot about this person!
These types of people are maybe more on the lookout for rejections. Usually, everyone gets offended and feels rejected, but the ones who have high-self-esteem seldom carry on their rejection.
For example, if they didn’t get through an interview, they will not feel as if rejected. Instead, they will be happy about being shortlisted.
As you can see, we can define it in different ways.
What is important here is to understand that it can happen and that you can learn how to get the best out of rejection!
What do you need help with?
(Choose between the 2 options)
Why do you feel rejected?
Great question!
We may feel rejected because of the stories we are telling ourselves and the beliefs we may have.
For example, we may consider that if someone is saying “no” to us, they are completely rejecting us.
But maybe, this person is saying “yes” to something else, and it’s not really against you!
Another quick example: We didn’t get the job we really hoped for. Of course, it’s horrible!! The feeling isn’t nice at all and it’s hard to see something positive in it. But, it’s not that we got completely rejected, just that they chose someone else instead!
But you see what I mean when I say that we might tell ourselves stories? It all depends on our thoughts and expectations in the situation! 🙂
This explains a lot also when it comes to reacting differently in different situations! It’s because of what we THINK of that situation! 🙂
This is the reason why we feel rejected!
Our self-esteem is taking a hit!
Also and I really wanted to talk about it, when we feel rejected, our self-esteem is taking a hit.
No matter the rejection (and if its origin is in our imagination or not!), we may start questioning our self-worth!
We might ask ourselves questions such as: Am I really worth it? Why am I even here (if this person doesn’t want to see me for example)?
These are great questions if we can then realize how we can get our power back from this situation! If we can realize that YES, we are totally worth it and that we don’t need anybody to confirm it to us! 🙂
If you’re interested in boosting your self-esteem, you NEED to have a look at this article/podcast episode:
6 Steps to Improving Your Self-Esteem
Rejections weren’t good for our survival
I also like this explanation of us not feeling good with rejection.
I remember reading somewhere that it was easier a long time ago to live in a tribe.
As a group, you can fight the enemy easier, you’re more people to find food and you’re assured that you have enough fertile people to reproduce yourself and to continue the species of human beings (that were back then the species called homo sapiens for example!).
When you think about it like this, it makes sense that rejection wasn’t good back then, so it probably has something to do that is in our genes today: We just don’t like rejections, because we are afraid for our survival!
Fascinating, right? 🙂
15 tips for handling rejection
As presented before, feeling rejected is totally legitimate!
It also means that you are living life completely and that you are allowing yourself to feel emotions and pain!
Actually, this is introducing pretty well the first tip that I want to share with you today:
1. Accept the pain, it will pass.
The very first thing to do is to make the pain legitimate!
If you feel it, it means that something important is going on inside of you. Maybe a value was broken and you are hurt for not being respected in what is important to you, it’s totally understandable! 🙂
No matter what, the most important is to acknowledge the feeling and to understand that it’s not going to stay!
You won’t feel this pain eternally! This too should pass! 🙂
2. Try now to look at it from the facts, not from the feeling.
Now that you accepted the pain, I want you to try to look at it with different glasses.
Can you say that the rejection really happened or can it be that you interpreted it as a rejection?
Sometimes, we may imagine it in our head, when actually, no one really rejected us!!
If you can say for sure that it was a rejection, can you have an influence on the facts? Can you do something differently in the future?
For example, someone told you that they weren’t available at that time, these are the facts.
You can offer to meet another time and see if this person is really interested in meeting you, then if they continue saying “no”, I agree that you might want to spend time with other people! 🙂
3. You are not for everyone.
I know that some of you will tell me that when it comes to your family and friends, it’s different (that you NEED to get along with everyone), but I disagree.
If you are your true self, there’s no way you are going to connect on a deep level with every one and this includes your friends and family.
And that’s 100% okay!
It’s really okay that not everybody will be deep in love with you and you won’t too! 🙂
By accepting it, you will already start feeling better. Loving everyone and everyone loving you is a goal that you can never achieve.
Because you are interested in some hobbies, you have different interests or values and it’s just happening that there will be people you will be able to share them with and some you won’t! 🙂
And that’s also very fine! 🙂 When you really think about it…!
Also, if you’re interested in people’s opinion about you, you have to check this post/podcast, you will love it: What Other People Think of You
4. You don’t NEED to connect with a friend or a family member.
This is a bit related to tip number 2 but listen to this.
You HAVE to understand that you don’t need to be close to EVERYONE in your family or in your circle of friends.
We always think that we NEED to, but I strongly disagree.
You need to be able to be respected and respectful towards everyone, but again, if you are really your true self, it’s impossible to connect on a deep level with everyone and no matter if they are part of your circle of friends or family!
The same blood doesn’t make it mandatory to feel very connected and close to someone! 🙂
I just want you to understand that if you feel rejected by someone that you aren’t feeling very connected to, it’s possible that you are forcing it a little bit when actually, you don’t need to!
5. Think of the possible reasons for the rejection.
It’s important to take 5 minutes after feeling rejected and ask yourself if there is any reason for you to feel this way?
Did you maybe say something that could have been interpreted another way?
Could you have done something differently? Can you still do something about it?
Maybe you said “no” a few times to this person and now, this person is too busy to meet. Can you just offer them to meet another time?
Again, you don’t need to have a real and deep relationship with everyone and it’s okay that some people will love you, some not!
6. It can be something that you do or something that you don’t do.
A friend shared this with me.
He used to be quite aggressive when expressing himself with others that people would less and less want to hang out with him.
He questioned this rejection and discovered that. From that moment, he started to be less aggressive and more open-minded to other people’s opinions and to the way he was expressing his opinions.
So it could be something that you’re not doing, but it could also be something that you keep on doing…
Do not overthink it, but if you see a pattern for feeling rejected, you can think of some possible reasons.
7. Consider that expectations are different for everyone.
I always think that the world would be such a better place without any expectations, right? 🙂
I want you to understand that if you feel rejected, it may be because you are expecting more than someone else…?
For example, you think that you should meet with your friends once a week.
Maybe, in your friend’s mind, they have other priorities (and it doesn’t mean that they love you less than you do!), but remember that when you know how to say “no”, you’re saying “yes” to something else.
So this friend may have not really rejected you!
Both of your expectations are different.
You simply need to question yourself if you absolutely NEED these expectations or if it’s also okay that they would vary a bit! 🙂
This can definitely be a topic for another post…! 🙂
8. Consider the way you are behaving, expect acceptance over rejection!
The truth is that if you’re coming to people and you’re expecting to be rejected, unfortunately, you may be giving a vibe of someone who may be rejected and you don’t want that…!
You know what I mean?
It’s like how people are coming to ask for a favor and they are apologizing, exaggerating and are being confused in their explanations!
I know that everyone is trying their best, you know that I truly believe in this, but it’s also great to come to someone and be in the mood of acceptance and not expecting rejection.
Your behavior does influence the situation, always! 🙂
Do not resist to feel emotions and to what’s going on inside of you, try to understand the positive intention, but try to have a behavior accorded to the result that you want! (Which was here having people accepting you and not rejecting you!)
9. Think of the people that truly love you!
Sometimes, we focus on people that are not loving us for who we truly are.
But, what about focusing instead of the people that REALLY love you and want to spend time with you?
It all depends on what you put your attention on, right? 🙂
Change your focus! 🙂
10. Work out can help a lot!
Do you know the important role ‘exercise’ plays in healing?
I recommend you to start doing something to move your body, it can be just going for a walk for 30 minutes, it’s already a great start! 🙂
Whatever you do should be positively impacting your body. For example, you can play tennis that will help you focus more on tennis rather than pain from rejection.
Live in the moment is often enjoyed when engaging in physical activities!
11. Understand that you have the power you need inside of you!
This rejection happened, it’s a fact.
Now, you kind of have given your power away to the person that rejected you. Stop doing this right now! 🙂
Everything you need to be fulfilled and successful is inside of you. It’s really okay to accept the emotion and the pain of rejection, but after a while, you can claim your power back! 🙂
How can you do that? By realizing that you are completely worth it and that you don’t need anybody else telling you/showing it to you to prove it! 🙂
What do you have to lose to believe in this, anyway? 🙂
12. You are new every day, so try new things!
There are a lot of things that we don’t know. You can allocate time to learn something new, which means eventually you will end up spending more time on it rather than thinking of the rejection.
In this process, you will meet new people, do new things, and more!
You will spend less time think of rejections or acceptance, you will just have time to just be you! 🙂
13. Find new people, look for them! 🙂
Think of a new activity that you could start (learning a new language, discovering painting…).
When you spend time with new people, you will less think of the pain of rejection!
And these people can become your new friends and your new family! I’m not saying here that each time you get rejected, you need to change your whole circle of friends and family! 😉
But just be open-minded to surround yourself with nice people that DO want to be with you!
14. Talk about it with someone that you feel comfortable with.
Sometimes, we really make our own interpretations of reality and we just cannot have a different perspective on it.
Sit and talk about it with someone you love and feel comfortable with.
They may offer you a listening ear and then, they may share with you how they see the situation and can give you some great insights, without necessarily telling you what you do!
I always like sharing this tip to help you build your self-confidence.
Ask yourself: What would you tell a friend?
We are always amazing at giving advice, but what if you would be in a situation of helping a friend?
It’s giving you another perspective, another eye on the situation! 🙂
Try it out!! 🙂
15. You can seek help, professional help.
It is never too late to seek professional advice.
If you feel like you tried everything and you aren’t feeling better, you can get support from somebody professional.
At first, you can talk about it with someone that you feel comfortable with, but if you still feel bad, do not hesitate to ask some help from a professional!
Quotes about rejection
Here are two of my favorite quotes on rejection:
“When you give yourself permission to communicate what matters to you in every situation, you will have peace despite rejection or disapproval. Putting a voice to your soul helps you to let go of the negative energy of fear and regret.”
― Shannon L. Alder
“Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.”
― Steve Maraboli
To sum up!
As you can see, rejection can happen.
And it’s part of life, we shouldn’t resist it!
The only difference is: What are you going to do the moment that you feel this rejection?
This is where everything can change and YOU can bring and make a change to your LIFE! 🙂
