Interested in having a strong and deep connection with the people you love?
Discover the behavior tip number one, so you can make this person happier and build your self-confidence on the way!
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Usually, I like to write blog posts that are organized with different questions and that are covering a topic in particular.
But today is a bit special.
I wanted to talk to you about something that I’ve been experiencing and that I also saw during my life coaching client sessions.
It’s also an amazing tool to build your self-confidence.
Let’s have a look at this!!!
What’s happening when you love someone?
Here, when I’m talking about “loving someone”, it can be in a love relationship, it can be a great friend or a family member, I’m talking about anybody you may love.
When you love that person, you really want this person to feel good and happy, right?
So, this is the new for you today: Just let this person be.
Let this person be.
What am I trying to say by saying this?
From a very good place of course, we may have a tendency of wanting to tell the other person what to do, to give them a lot of great advice, to help them live a better life!
We think that we know better than them (and it’s legitimate!!), we sometimes do, let’s face it! 🙂
But here, I want you to really let this person BE whatever this person wants to be.
What do you need help with?
(Choose between the 2 options)
In what situations?
Let me give you a few examples.
A quick example that comes to my mind and that I remember talking a lot about with my life coaching clients is people that are busy with their lives and that are seeing you less.
It’s annoying! You want to see them more but they are very busy…
When you really love someone, you want what’s best for them!
So, if in these moments of their lives, they need more space (because remember that when you say “no” to something, it’s because you’re saying “yes” to something else), do not take it personally, and give them this space.
Remember, you want what’s best for that person. So, give them what they want: here in this situation, it might be space.
Another great example could be someone that is currently making always the same mistakes.
You know what I’m talking about?! It probably already had happened to you! Someone that keeps on making the same mistakes, you can not believe how it’s possible!
And you really want to be there for them and to tell them what they should do instead!
But what about stopping right there and simply being there for that person.
As you can see, your advice isn’t helping as much as you want them to!
So… What about letting them be and discover what solutions they will find for them?
Or maybe, asking them what they need from you in that situation? Maybe just a listening ear? Maybe just your support?
From a great place, we are often trying to help people do something else, we are giving them advice. But is it really helping them? Or is it helping you be a great friend?
Don’t get me wrong, I believe that sometimes, advice can be really good! But I just want you to ask yourself today: what if this friend would just need your support and not your judgment/opinion/advice?
Take care of yourself and let people do the same for themselves.
I know that it’s always coming from the best intention ever!
When we are judging others and trying to help them, it’s because we think that we know better than them!
But let me tell you something. It’s okay that you think that you know better. But sometimes, you just need to let go to try to control everybody’s lives and take care of yours in the first place.
And I’m not talking here about judging your own life all day long.
Set yourself free!
When you’re approaching life and others like this, you will feel less pressure.
You will feel like you’re in control of your life and only your life and you won’t feel the pressure of taking care of someone else, of having the responsibility of someone else!
When you think about it, it’s a great way to set yourself free from a lot of pressure.
You just take care of yourself and it’s already good enough!
Remember also that when you take care of yourself and you feel good with yourself, you are making others happier too!
It’s a total win-win situation!!
By the way, you can have a look at this 30-Day Self-Care Challenge Ideas! It will change your life! 🙂
What about your self-confidence?
Building your self-confidence is about trusting yourself and your abilities, right?
So, when you do the same with others, you are believing that they can take care of themselves and that they are responsible for themselves.
When you look at things this way, you less take things personally, because you understand that everyone is trying to fulfill their own needs and that THEY are responsible for themselves.
When you believe in someone else’s capacities to find their own solutions to their own problems, you are having confidence in this person!
When listening to this person, asking questions and helping them understand and find the solutions for themselves, they will feel great just being heard, seen and understood.
And all of this, without you having to do anything! It’s even less tyring than giving advice! 🙂
By doing this, this person will feel comfortable being with you. The connection between you two will grow!
And all of this situation is without any doubt, a great boost for your self-confidence! 🙂
To sum up!
As I always say, people like to be seen, heard and understood.
When you really love someone, no matter the nature of your relationship, let this person be who they are.
Let them be responsible for their life because you truly believe that they know better what’s good for them.
Let them find the solutions to their problems, so they can follow their own advice!
By being there for them, listening, asking questions and being 100% interested in just offering authentic support to them, you will create a real and strong connection with that person.
On the way, you will build your self-confidence, day after day!
The feeling of connecting on a deep level with someone AND your self-confidence growing are two AMAZING feelings.
What if you would start today? 🙂